Each and every night of the week, Monday through Sunday, the city offers up tributes. As opposed to those from The Hunger Games, who hail from the 13 districts, our tributes hail from the boroughs -- Bronx, Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, and of course, Staten Island. Sometimes, the tributes even hail from the outer reaches of our island -- New Jersey.
Armed with nothing other than the clothes on their back, these brave souls go out into the night to meet prospective mates, filled with trepidation, excitement, and of course, fear. What will the evening bring? Will this date be the moment of victory? Will it yield the desired results? Will the ultimate prize be obtained?
After weeks, nay years of training (after all, each previous date is a vital part of the preparation process), each borough brings it's own special skills to the dating table. Brooklyn comes in heavy with the sassy talk and the street smarts. Queens' tributes bring with them the pride of the Mets and the tastes of foreign nations. Staten Island entrants, having endured the stench of a thousand landfills, can endure virtually anything the dating world may throw their way. The Bronx, as the only "un-gentrified" borough, sends competitors who retain a toughness that has gradually been sloughed away from its neighboring communities. And of course, we can't forget the education we've received from the New Jerseyites in the art of the GTL.
Like the community of Panem tuning in each day to watch the games, the city offers their own community of "helpers" -- concerned citizens waiting to offer a hand or to interfere when the going gets tough -- and your date has had one too many drinks. And just like the gifts sent to the tributes from their districts, we have friends prepared with a pre-scheduled call to offer a necessary escape if need be.
Finally, just like in The Hunger Games, and the Darwinian theories that preceded it, only the strongest will survive the challenge of dating. The competition is fierce and only a small percentage will come out victorious. But even these victors will not escape unscathed.
Out in the unforgiving landscape of the dating arena, they will see things they can't unsee. Witness atrocities the likes of which they never imagined. They may even lose a friend or two in the process. And yet, despite all this, despite those who rage against the institution that is dating in NYC, they'll keep dusting themselves off, prepared to do it all over again. Or at the very least, will tune in to watch the next batch of brave souls as they face off against one another.
Perhaps one day, just like the Hunger Games themselves, the dating games too will come to an end. But in the interim fellow daters, I leave you simply with the hope that the odds may forever be in your favor.