Why Do I NOT Feel Old? Is It Because I Live in New York?

This city is my Enchanted Cottage. If I don't get another man, well, I tried, and in any case I still have Man-hattan.
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Ponce de León looked for -- and ultimately believed he had found -- the proverbial Fountain of Youth. Wikipedia offered this:

The Fountain of Youth is a legendary spring that supposedly restores the youth of anyone who drinks or bathes in its waters. The legend became particularly prominent in the 16th century, when it became attached to the Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León, first Governor of Puerto Rico. According to an apocryphal combination of New World and Eurasian elements, Ponce de León was searching for the Fountain of Youth when he traveled to what is now Florida in 1513

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Next, I looked up the phrase on Google. (How blessed are we to have both Wiki and Google?) It seems ironic to me that the first click-through was for "The Fountain of Youth Archaeological Park" in St. Augustine, Florida, on 15 privately-owned acres and open to visitors, who may drink its waters. I have passed through St. Augustine, and never knew anything about a Fountain of Youth. Let me just say this, and it's just a personal observation, but if there is such a Fountain, and its waters are youth-restoring, clearly not many Floridians have been let in on the secret.

You may not have seen this black and white movie, but I came across it once, and never forgot it. The Enchanted Cottage is a 1945 romantic fantasy starring Robert Young, Dorothy McGuire and Mildred Natwick. When Army Air Force pilot Oliver Bradford (played by Robert Young) is disfigured by war wounds, he hides from his family and decides to live in seclusion in the seaside New England cottage he'd rented from its current owner, Mrs. Minnett (Mildred Natwick), for his originally planned honeymoon. Laura Pennington (played by Dorothy McGuire) is a shy, homely maid hired as the cottage's caretaker. Over time, Oliver and Laura fall in love and discover that their feelings for each other have mysteriously transformed them. He appears handsome to her, and she seems beautiful to him. This "transformation" is perceived only by the two lovers (and the audience). Laura believes that the cottage is "enchanted." Only at the end does the film show its audience how the two look in real life, not in their perceptions of each other.

This film had a lasting impact on me because I truly believe that when people love each other--be it romantic love, a deep friendship, a family bond, or even putting a special person on a pedestal because of their talent or other stellar qualities -- we see them in a different way, from the soul, not from the eyes.

And that too, is how I see myself. Delusion, for sure. But is it necessarily a bad thing?

I am the first to admit that I am living in a state of delusion, to some extent. For example, I bought my current apartment in 1983 and have lived here for the past 30 years. I was then 42. I still feel 42. I am healthy, do not take any pills, and can still fit into most of my wardrobe -- not saying I want to wear the "Dallas" style dresses with the big padded shoulders, or any other outdated outfits; just saying they still fit. I also have photos of my younger self strewn around, especially on the mantle, and one wall has me with all the celebs I once worked with. Yes, I am gorgeous in those photos, and yes, time is a thief.

Nonetheless, I do not think of myself in any way, shape or form as old. And yet... I guess, according to the rest of the world, that is exactly what I am. Not just as an AARP-qualifying senior, but OLD! On my last birthday, on August 29th, 2013, I was 73. And by the way, since you don't have a birthday till you are a full year old, I am actually spending down hours, days, weeks, and months out of my 74th year. Yup, to most people (and not just for young kids, who think 20 is old) that is pretty ancient. I admit that often, when I see certain old persons on TV being interviewed or in a commercial for some potion or lotion aimed at seniors, I am shaken to my roots that the person with the prune face, sparse snow-white hair, missing teeth and shaky gait is MY AGE. How can that be?

Let's not even go into chin hairs, age spots, neck wrinkles and other signs that I choose to eliminate or ignore. The man I may or may not find to share our mutual Act Three will be under that delusional bubble with me. We will share our own kind of Enchanted Cottage, each seeing the other with our souls more than our eyes, and in that way finding each other still youthful, magnificently interesting and devilishly attractive.

I have had an extraordinary life that has encompassed great professional opportunities and a shared life with (consecutively) three wonderful husbands. I enjoy my best friend and daughter Heather and son Daryl, and my long-time, truly remarkable and 20-years-younger best girlfriend Dian, with whom I am closer than any sister. I have a large circle of amazing men and women friends, and clients who have become friends. I have my "twin" brother Steve and darling sister-in-law Susan, along with our extended loving family. And last but far from least, there are the two tiny canine creatures I am crazy about, Sophie and Gretchen, who keep me walking regularly and constantly amused.

At this stage of my life, do I need a man? Need, no. Would like to find someone? Yes. Am I likely to find him through online dating? I would say it's unlikely, unless I am willing to view this as a project, a long-term project, and also willing to endure the ridiculousness of grown men "winking" at me, 30 year olds from other parts of not just the country but the world asking to meet me, cheaters and some very sad and even disturbed people sometimes getting past security.

I have imperfections that would put the St. Andreas Fault to shame, so don't think I have myself on a pedestal. But I also bring a lot to the table. I am smart, well-read, and successful in my career, clean up real well and am sufficiently solvent so that no one has to support me. For what it's worth, I also have a beautiful high-rise home I can share. But if there is an attractive, energetic man out there who feels, in his mind and spirit, as young as I feel in mine, why have I not found my match on match.com this past year?

I thought I had, but was asked to move to Florida, not for a month or so but forever, which I can't do. Well, if the Fountain of Youth truly existed in Florida, that might be an attractive option. Meantime, keeping crazy-busy in this one-of-a-kind city keeps me feeling young. Until I turn on the TV. Or someone gets up to give me their seat on the bus or train (well actually, it hasn't happened yet, but let's pretend it could). This city is my Enchanted Cottage. If I don't get another man, well, I tried, and in any case I still have Man-hattan.

Recently, a dear new friend just a few years younger than I, artist and creativity coach Bobbi Van (bobbivanstudio.com) told me how she came to find her gorgeous live-in love. She met this HUNK, more than 10 years younger than she, at a conference built around a mutual interest. But here's what's fascinating: She had a diary in which she wrote (long before she met him) exactly what sort of man she wanted, down to height, weight, interests, profession, life circumstances, etc. She even wrote that he would keep a bicycle in their apartment (she had them living in bliss together) and that he'd ride many miles a day to stay in shape. She also got a big piece of white oak tag and created a Vision Board, with cut out photos from magazines, sayings, thing she wanted with the man: great sex, exotic vacations, sharing a loving extended family, helping to make the world a better place together, etc.

The man she met fit the bill to a T; I mean precisely. He was everything she had envisioned, down to his full head of hair, dark, smoldering eyes, great smile, great career, commitment to humanity, and the mountain bike he moved into her apartment.

So, am I giving up on match.com? Not yet. But am I also creating my own vision board.

You betcha!

How about you? Might this work for you too? You just have to believe in the Law of Attraction. It really works. That is fact, not delusion. The Universe will give you what you want. The catch is, you have to eliminate all ambivalence and provide it with clarity.

I'm working on it. I have time. I am still young.

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