Why Donald Trump Will Make America Grate Again

The current Republican front runner, Donald Trump, has taken a lot of heat lately for some of his comments. However, I think he's a brilliant businessman who knows exactly how to make America grate again. Let me tell you why you I love him:

1 -- If I do something to my body, like have an abortion, I SHOULD be punished. The G-d that created Donald Trump also created my reproductive organs and nothing created by G-d should ever be messed with. So, like, don't mess with Donald Trump!

2 -- His lack of foreign policy knowledge gives me hope: for my toddler. If someone like Donald Trump can make it THIS far into the race without any real awareness, then I can start prepping my 4-year-old for the 2020 race! Thank you, Mr. Trump!

3 -- As a woman, I need to be beautiful; it's just the way the world works. With Mr. Trump constantly calling me fat, ugly, and flat -- I will be motivated to keep up my workouts! Also, it's an awesome excuse to spend an extra hour in front of the mirror looking at myself every day, just like I KNOW our future leader does, too!

4 -- Can we just talk about his hands for a moment? You know what they say: Great things come in small packages. I don't know about you, but those hands give me the heebie-jeebies (that's what they call sex dreams, right?)

5 -- I've read The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins and Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. I am confident that if the more than qualified Mr. Trump wins the presidential race, he will most certainly lead us into a dystopian novel -- and since I've read a LOT of them, I'm prepared. Are you?

These are just a few of the reasons I love Mr. Donald Trump -- what are YOUR reasons?

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