I am absolutely heartbroken and angry as I read about the most current shooting in San Bernardino. Actually, more like fucking pissed off and on the verge of hysteria, and I know I'm not alone. The statistics are staggering, the loss of life, absolutely heart-wrenching. This type of shit is becoming commonplace, almost expected, and it's frightening. And, if you're like me, you squeeze your hus and your kids a little bit tighter after each of these horrific events, praying that it doesn't continue to metastasize and spread to you and your loved ones.
What does the San Bernardino shooting have to do with planning your wedding? Quite a bit, bridey. It's called perspective. And, as I have said a million times, perspective is a bitch! Perspective sucks. Perspective hurts. But, perspective is necessary. And unfortunately, it's times like these where perspective comes in, shakes us to our core, and (hopefully) snaps us the fuck out of our selfish little worlds, forcing us to appreciate what we have been given. Life. Marriage. Family. Friends. Notice how I didn't say "wedding"? I said marriage. And, marriage is a whole hell of a lot more than one day. It's work, it's difficult, and it's wonderful all wrapped into one.
Bridey, contrary to what some may think, I love weddings. I love everything about planning a wedding and seeing it come through to fruition. I love what weddings represent. I love that outside of your funeral, your wedding day is probably the only time in your life that everybody you love will be under the same roof (morbid, but true). But, what I hate about weddings? Narrow-minded bullshit. Bitchy brides who completely lose sight of why they are getting married in the first place. Brides who get so wrapped up in the wedding day, that they forget about life afterward (and during)! There IS life afterward, remember?
It's disgusting that shit like a soulless, cowardly shooting forces us to take a hard look at our lives and reevaluate our priorities, but that's usually when our greatest epiphany presents itself. And planning your wedding? Well, it should be fun and exciting, but your epiphany should be the person you are going to marry. Each day after your wedding is a gift! I mean, how cool is it that you have a partner for life? Right? It's fucking amazing! It's exhilarating! It's awesome! And, you're amazingly lucky because sadly, fourteen people died on Wednesday, and many lost their partners. Feel that? That pit in your stomach? Focus on that, not your "perfect" wedding day. Your wedding day doesn't really matter in the scheme of things, it's how you live each day after your wedding that counts.
So, bridey, the next time wedding planning feels overwhelming or things get stressful, remember the outcome. Remember that at the end of the (wedding) day, you have a partner for life. So, cherish it. Enjoy it. Hold on to it. Because the day itself represents the future, and we are all incredibly lucky to still have one.