There’s a phrase that every teenage girl has heard before. You’ve probably even said it, because sometimes it just has to be said: “Stay in your lane.” In other words, “Hey. Do your thing over there. Don’t interfere with my thing.”
We say “stay in your lane” mostly as a joke, but not all too long ago, that’s really how the world felt about women. Our mothers, grandmothers, when they were in high school just like all of you, they were expected to “stay in their lane.” They weren’t supposed to become doctors and lawyers and CEOs. Girls were supposed to step back, become secretaries and assistants, watching while guys pursued their dreams. And in most cases, women were helping them to do just that. Thankfully, times have changed.
I work with a lot of young women through 1,000 Dreams Fund, and they all have one huge thing in common: All of the girls we’ve funded have big goals, and they’re absolutely, 100% determined to meet them. What a lot of adults don’t realize is that today’s girls have different ideas of success than they did as teenagers. For them, being successful doesn’t just mean going to college and getting a job. They want to go to a school that challenges them and land competitive jobs. They don’t just want to meet their expectations, they want to exceed them. And that’s awesome.
In fact, we recently selected five incredible, inspiring, totally empowered young women as winners of our #MyCollegeCosts Challenge. Despite major financial and personal obstacles set on their paths, these girls are barreling ahead -- and that’s why we were so excited to help fund their journeys.
These are three qualities that every empowered young woman has. And even if you don’t naturally have these qualities, you can absolutely develop them over time. One, she persists even when all the odds seem to be against her. Two, she has confidence in her own ideas and goals - and takes time to plan for them. And three, and maybe most importantly: She wants to help other people succeed. She loves seeing others around her thrive.
Every month, girls reach out to 1,000 Dreams Fund with the two huge concerns: How do I know which school is right for me? And how do I pay for it? Those two questions can cause a lot of stress. Some high school students already know what college they want to go to, but they’re worried about getting in. Others in this room have no idea what school is right for them, and they don’t even know how to start figuring that out. And some may not even be sure if they’ll go to college at all, because nobody in the family has ever done it before.
It’s okay to be worried about those things. But just a bit of action can help you focus and determine your next steps. Trust me, it’s a lot easier to start walking when you have a path in front of you. See, a lot of people think that dreaming and planning are totally separate things. Those people are wrong. When you start planning, your dreams can become reality.
Every time a new girl applies for an educational grant from my organization, I see something in her. Each and every one of these girls reminds me that she’s not going to stay in her lane. She’s going to drive toward her goals, no matter what challenges lie ahead. She has confidence in her own self, and down the road, she wants to help others find that confidence too.
“Stay in your lane”? Not these girls.