I am blessed with lot of good people in my life. These people care about me and fuss over me. It is nice to have them. We go out for lunches or movies and chat about inane stuff, kids, family, pokey in-laws; practically everything that's not contentious. But what I often find lacking is the ability to speak my mind without a care or to be in the same space without talking yet not offending the other person. Conversations are frequently animated but weighed. I cannot imagine myself telling a friend that he or she has put on a hefty amount of weight or the dress makes them look particularly hideous. The same goes for my relatives too.
Photo credit: Dwars door Arnhem - Geitenkamp naar Gelredome, straatportretten via photopin (license)
The other day I was narrating a stressful incident at work to my mom. She went on a sermonizing mode even before I could finish. I was not trying to find a solution but just to vent out. But that's what mother's do; they worry and advice. It is good to see people care but sometimes we all just want to be. And then there are people like my husband. He can have quite a dispassionate approach to many things. If I tell him about something excitedly, there is a good possibility of getting a vague look. Fact is he has never interfered in my life or held me back from anything that I wished/ wish to pursue or work on. It is really great to have such space but at times it is also necessary to get some kind of feedback or alternate viewpoint. Something that makes us question our act however splendid it might seem from our perspective.
I feel the need for a person who is not intrusive but is there. Someone to whom I can just text the flight number before the plane takes off? Simply a set of alphanumeric code which speaks an entire sentence - "I am going from Point A to B. Watch out for me". This is a person who knows when to send in the cavalry without being told. I cannot imagine how blessed a person would be to find such a soul mate. Someone who can complete us in a kind of psychic way, make us intact, a sacred bond.
The last year was hectic and I had quite a roller-coaster ride especially on the work front. On 31st December, 2015, I did not go out to party (not that I am a party animal) but stayed indoors. I sat back to think of the year that went by. There were subtle points noted, lessons learnt, opportunities received, experience gained, relationships nurtured and lives lost. Most of all I reflected on the achievement of tremendous psychological growth. As a true Capricorn, my belief habitually points that security in life can be attained only through continuity of employment or job, money, bank balance and assets. In the past year, I learned that all those security can be lost in matter of minutes, hours, days or weeks. Ask the Syrian refugees, the displaced people affected by the Nepal earthquake or the innocent people who died in the plane crashes. What I learned is to become secure as human beings; we must have an unwavering approach towards the surprises tossed at us by the universe and remain emotionally resilient. And we cannot do that alone or with our family or spouse or partner or children or friends. What we need is a soul mate!
Let us accept that deep down many of us seek a person who truly cares for us without reason; for whom we matter. We want a person to watch out for us not because they are obligated by relation, compulsion or need but because they just want to do so. This is a person who accepts us for who we are without any expectation or inclination to change us or being judgmental.
The thing about soul mates is that life happens to bring them together when it is time, no introductions required and things just click or fit in place like pieces of a huge puzzle. This person need not be of the opposite gender or romantically involved with us. You don't need to talk but reams are spoken with a look or action. A connection that is strong at a spiritual level. The stellar part is they not only act as our advocate but also as an asperser. Webster says that asperser is a very rarely used word. I use the word for a person who acts like our subconscious mind but is outside our body; someone whose thoughts/ views are not clouded by bias of any kind especially detrimental to us. A soul mate won't hang around us trying to appease. This is a person who will selflessly point out the flaws in us (or our plans) that we are oblivious about, and require our constructive attention to change. Even our friends listen to us only to a point beyond which they try to provide solutions while we are seeking none or question us when we just need someone to listen and act as a sounding board. Period. A soul mate for me is one is a mirror and will never betray my trust, ever! This person is like a secure room where everything is safe, peaceful and contained. When your soul mate says, "We need to talk"; it gives rise to a feeling of hope for betterment and not desolation. What matters most is a soul mate accepts us just the way we are with all the flaws and indentations, to who we matter even if we are invisible to the world.
In this selfie stick world and continuous status updates, it is easy to have an entourage clicking on "Like" but rarely someone who truly strikes a chord and cares for no reason. For those who are blessed with a soul mate, cherish. For everyone else, let's hope this year brings you and your soul mate together.