My daughter is 11 months old. She is not crawling or standing. I am worried. What do I do? originally appeared on Quora - the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights.
Answer by Daniel Pearce, dad, on Quora.
Not all children are created equal.
My son never crawled. He scooted a little bit. At around 11 months he started pulling himself up. Prior to that, he would only stand if we stood him up. My wife used to say it was great, she could leave him in the middle of the floor with a bunch of toys and not worry whether he would get in trouble.
At his one year appointment, the doctor was worried. "He should be crawling by now!" she told us. But when we put him on his tummy, he went stiff as a board, started screaming, and immediately rolled over. She sent us to occupational therapy. My wife spent several frustrating weeks with a therapist who tried to force him to crawl. No luck. I told her to stop. It was frustrating him, and her both. I told her, "He will walk when he's ready, crawling really isn't important." The doctor disagreed. "His development will be slowed!" she told us.
One day, I came home and he was "hopping" between two couches. They were just far enough apart that he had to let go to reach the other. He was having a blast! My wife had put toys on each couch and he was alternating for over an hour.
A few days later, he insisted that I "help" him to walk around the house in his little one year old voice. At least that's what I thought he was saying. Soon he was taking steps and not much longer, toddling along.
He is now 4. He's a normal 4 year old. He loves learning. He runs and runs and runs. He crawls for fun now when playing. He has an extraordinary memory for things he's interested in, he's fully potty trained and he's very verbose. People comment often that his vocabulary is above average.
Let me summarize the point of the above: There is nothing wrong with asking a doctor or pursuing physical therapy. On the other hand, don't presume that because your child isn't walking as soon as your friend's child, there is something wrong. Children will walk when they are ready. Some will learn to crawl after the fact. There is nothing wrong with this. Yes, you should push your child, but don't frustrate them, and don't get worried if they aren't interested.
Good luck, take a deep breath, and stop worrying!