For as long as I can remember, I have had a very strong dislike of the Elf on the Shelf.
As a single twenty-something, I found it to be extremely creepy looking. That in itself turned me off. My sister had one for her kids and the whole side-eye and little smirk made me uneasy.
After I had my first child, Henry, I would see my mom friends post their adorable elf getting into trouble on Facebook, having tea parties with 25 other toys, or making a five course breakfast.
I will now be completely and totally honest. This intimidated the shit out of me.
So last year, I wrote a post about why I wasn’t going to give my toddler an elf. And now that I read it, I realize I sounded like a total asshole of a mom.
The real fact is that I’m not crafty. I’m no Pinterest mom. I can’t even tie a bow. Having this elf seemed like a lot of work. And a lot of pressure. How am I supposed to be witty enough to have some elf tap dancing when my child wakes up on the top shelf of his bookcase with all the members of the Paw Patrol?
Then Henry turned three. And my entire perspective on this creepy elf changed.
He is SOO excited for Christmas this year and it is extremely contagious. It makes ME excited for Christmas. He finally gets it. Not just the Santa Claus and gifts thing, but the fact that it’s the birthday of Baby Jesus. Which he thinks means we must have cake and a candle he can blow out on Christmas morning.
So why wouldn’t I let him get even more excited about having an elf that sits on a shelf and moves every night? I don’t have to make the elf crafty. He’s three. It’s not like he goes to the sitter and discusses his elf with all the other toddlers drinking out of their sippy cups. He thinks it’s awesome that the elf moves five feet, thank goodness.
So I gave in. I went on Amazon and ordered the elf. He arrived on Saturday.
Henry went and ran an errand with my husband Logan. When he got back, the elf was sitting on the mantel with his book. We read the book together and he decided on a name for the elf. After Logan and I vetoed naming him Santa Claus and Elf, he decided on Groot.
Disclaimer: I have no idea how my three-year-old learned about Groot, but I rolled with it.
This morning when he woke up, Groot had moved from the mantel to the inside of a vase. Henry thought it was absolutely hilarious. And it seriously made my morning. So I’m actually looking forward to moving him every morning when I wake up at 4:30 am to feed the baby.
Now, let’s move to the best part about this elf. He is a fabulous pawn.
I am admitting to the world right now that I am going to use Groot the Elf to the fullest extent to bribe my mischievous three year old to be a “good boy” so he doesn’t get coal for Christmas.
Henry is an adorable three year old. He makes me laugh and smile and I want to squeeze his fat little cheeks.
He also knows how to push all my buttons and has perfected the art of the tantrum.
And we cannot get him to poop on the potty. This is by far my biggest #MomFail.
The kid is as stubborn as they come. I know he got this from both me and my husband. So when we push, he pushes back harder. We have tried charts, all kinds of training, bribing him with this Minion toy that is still sitting on the top shelf in his toy room untouched, and every other trick in the book.
He did poop in the potty once about three months ago. I think it was an accident. Then he pooped in the backyard one day. Just like our dog. I didn’t know how to react so I just rolled with it. My husband shoveled it up with the dog poop. It was progress?
So I am going to use Groot the Elf as a bribery tool to get my child to finally poop in the potty. Because diapers are expensive and I also have an infant.
Am I so bad of a person for using an elf as a tool to get my child fully potty trained? I sure don’t think so.
Groot the Elf will not only bring Henry joy every morning, but he will also bring joy to me and Logan if he works his potty-training magic. And THAT is a win-win situation in my opinion.
For more, visit my blog at HashtagMomFail.com!