If there’s ever a time you need a little distraction in your life, it’s during the divorce process. That’s why we launched our Divorce Care Package series. With each post, we’ll show you what things — books, movies, recipes — helped others relieve stress in the midst of divorce, in the hopes that a few of their picks will serve you well too. Want to share what got you through your divorce? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Now that she's on the other side of divorce, writer Abby King can say with confidence that life is better post-split.
"My divorce was finalized in 2012 and though it’s been a tough road, I am definitely on the other side of it now and much happier!" she told The Huffington Post.
Below, King, who was with her ex for 14 years, shares how she got through her divorce -- and why a little self-gifting was required once the whole process was finished.
Daniel THIERRY via Getty Images
"I had not been gifted with jewelry in my 14-year relationship with my ex. On the first Valentine's Day after my divorce (which fell 14 days after getting my final divorce decree), I went to the mall and splurged. A huge, gigantic extravagant splurge. I went to Cartier and gifted myself their classic 'Love' bracelet. Everyday I look down at my wrist at the superficial 'love' I gave myself and am reminded of the real love I’ve given myself. The bracelet itself may be superficial but there’s deeper meaning."
"I go through phases of voracious reading and then stop for a bit. For a year during my divorce I took a break from contemporary adult fiction and took a detour through YA books
. I devoured the Twilight
and The Hunger Games
series. Dreaming of a handsome, sparkly vampire coming to whisk my teenage insecure self away was a welcome break from the real breakup in my life. Following Katniss's badassery page after page gave me a little of the can-do swagger I needed. Highbrow? No. Valuable and entertaining? Yes!"
Thomas Barwick via Getty Images
"I’ve always been fairly active but I was usually focused on the wellbeing of my body, not my mind. After my divorce I found two activities that helped my psyche as well as my frame. Newly separated, with my kids away with their dad for July 4th weekend, I found myself alone and aimless. I went to a local yoga studio for a class. I wound up going every day over the four-day weekend and have continued practicing several times a week since that first weekend. That was six years ago. Yoga
has had a profound effect on my life. Being present for one hour of my day, focusing on my breath and asana
helps me long after I leave my mat. No matter what, I always feel better leaving class than when I walked in. The other activity that’s really gotten me through my divorce, spinning
, is almost opposite to the experience of a yoga class. It’s loud, competitive, challenging and motivating. Whereas yoga is quiet, reflective and not pushing past where you should be, spinning is a time to rock out, listen to great music and forget everything for 45 minutes."
"There are times I enjoy a few tears and some good wallowing. But for the most part, after my separation, I turned up the volume to empowerment. While each and every word of these songs is worth sharing, here are my three favorite lines from three of my favorite songs that got me through the tough times: 'Shake It Out' by Florence and The Machine: 'And it’s hard to dance with the devil on your back. So shake him off.' 'F*ck You' by Cee Lo Green: 'And although there’s pain in my chest I still wish you the best with a f*ck you.'Since U Been Gone' by Kelly Clarkson: 'But since you’ve been gone I can breathe for the first time. I’m so moving on, yeah yeah, thanks to you now I get what I want, since you’ve been gone.'"
"I don’t remember where I found this but it has really stuck. It reminds me that there are no shortcuts and when dealing with a tough situation it’s best to get on with it because that’s the only way to the other side."
The TV Show
Friday Night Lights Official Facebook
"I watched 'Friday Night Lights' with my ex as it originally aired and watched the entire series over after my divorce. I bought the DVD set and stayed up night after night watching too many episodes only to wake bleary eyed in morning and have to hustle to get my kids to school. I love the Taylor's marriage, Coach Taylor’s coaching, the teen angst and the coming of age stories. It had me wishing I were a part of the Dillon community and whispering 'Texas Forever.'”