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Divorce

Why I Splurged On Lingerie After My Divorce -- And You Should Too

Sometimes a mom just has to treat herself.

If there's ever a time you need a little distraction in your life, it's during the divorce process. That's why we launched our Divorce Care Package series. With each post, we'll show you what things -- books, movies, recipes -- helped others relieve stress in the midst of divorce, in the hopes that a few of their picks will serve you well too. Want to share what got you through your divorce? Email us at divorce@huffingtonpost.com.

Following Trish Eklund's 2010 divorce from her husband of 12 years, she treated herself to lingerie for the first time in a long time. It may seem like a small thing but Eklund say it was anything but.

Below, the mom of two, who writes about blended family life at the website Family Fusion Community, tells us more about what helped her heal after her split.

The Splurge
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"For the first time in years, I treated myself to bras and matching panties at Victoria's Secret. I fought my mom-guilt the entire way home. I am proud to say now I make it a point to splurge on lingerie every few months or at least once a year. I think when we neglect ourselves it carries over into other aspects of our lives, including our children. Remember to mother yourself first."
The Quote
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"During my separation and divorce, my in-laws gave me a plaque with the quote, 'If God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it.' Knowing my in-laws planned to remain in my life meant more to me than words could express. They attended my second wedding and have always been kind to my new husband. When my dad died, my father-in-law read scriptures at the memorial service. I refuse to call them my ex-in-laws because they are still my family in every sense of the word. Each time I see the plaque in my bathroom I remember I can face anything. I suggest finding an empowering quote, framing it and hanging it in a spot where you will see it daily. Divorce is rough but it is temporary. Youwill get through it."
The TV Show
Ghost Adventures Official Facebook
"The Travel Channel reality show 'Ghost Adventures.' My daughters and I were obsessed with the host Zak Bagans and his gang of paranormal investigators. The show distracted us from reality. We enjoyed the historical part of the show, the silly antics of the guys and the mysteries of the paranormal. The show offered something completely different than our divorce drama, so we couldn’t wait to snuggle up on the couch and watch Zak on Netflix."
The Book
Julia Davila-Lampe via Getty Images
"The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. It's a book I read every few years. My mind was jumbled with obsessive thoughts and sleep was hard to come by. If and when I did fall asleep, I woke drenched in sweat, my heart thundering in my ears, my chest felt like a rhinoceros had plopped down on top of me. I had never experienced panic attacks before my divorce and they were terrifying. With difficulty focusing on fiction or anything new, I decided to reread The Four Agreements: Be impeccable with your word, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions and always do your best are the four agreements. 'We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing,' the author writes. Not taking anything personally helped ease my anxiety. As he puts it, 'Your point of view is something personal to you. It is no one's truth but yours.'"
The Place
Ryan Heffernan via Getty Images
"I have moved around quite a bit in my life but no matter where I called home, I’ve always had a special place. In New Mexico, where I lived during my divorce, it was Plaza Blanca. Georgia O’Keefe found endless inspiration in the pale canyon. She moved to Ghost Ranch, in Abiquiunearby, painting the canyon’s landscape. The photographs I've taken transport me to long summer nights; the silvery light of the swollen moon illuminating the naturally formed statues, towers and craggy walls. This spectacular canyon has always inspired me, and reminds me of my own inner power. During your divorce, you have to surround yourself with reminders of personal strength and love. Use the time to get to know yourself again."
The Song
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"The song I listened to over and over again was 'Breakdown' by Seether. The lyrics go, 'You can break me down if it takes all your might. Because I'm so much more than meets the eye.''"
The Food
Joe Raedle via Getty Images
"Every type of cereal. At first, I did not have much of an appetite, but I could almost always force myself to eat a bowl of Frosted Flakes or Lucky Charms. It may not have been the healthiest of meals, although it silenced my growling stomach."
The Distraction
Trish Eklund
"I hadn’t written since the night my ex left. The one thing that had always been my solace escaped me, drowned by my emotions. I realized no matter how tough things felt, it was time to start fighting my way back to myself. So after months of writer's block, I grabbed my sketchbook and pencils. I sketched, I drew and I painted, spending every spare moment the girls weren’t home creating something. Some of the artwork was dark, as though I had opened a vein and bled charcoal onto the page. Other pieces were colorful and full of hope. The rock in the pit of my stomach grew lighter each time I sketched, until it was gone. My art brought me back. When my father passed away in 2014, I started photographing abandoned buildings and houses. I think when something impacts our life, we have a choice; we can allow it to defeat us or we can use the pain to grow and learn."

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