Question. If you could stop an activity or two for a little bit to get financial freedom and to live life the way you wanted to long term, would you do it?
Well in 2016 I’ve decided to stop posting on Facebook so much and spending hours on it. This is what happened.
- I ended up receiving a paid project on Upwork a day after signing up for it.
- I entered 6 bids on to Freelancer. I ended up getting 3 offers equaling $5000.
- I got on the Huffington Post. As I write this, I still can not wrap my mind around the fact I made it on here. Holy Moly.
- I ended up getting a gig where I’m getting paid to post Instagram photos. Speaking of that, I had to find creative ways to get paid. Doctor’s orders.
- I had the rare opportunity to get involved with newly formed start-ups in different capacities. Not just as CEO.
- I started focusing on Instagram and I’ve noticed that I’ve had more engagement than I did this time last year.
- I received roles on professional movie/commercial projects, and I couldn’t mention them on social media ANYWHERE. I also received my first leading role to start filming in 2017.
- On September 13th, 2016, I got into something that will change my life forever. I’ll talk about this way later.
Uncle Sam, I know you are watching looking for your opportunity to swoop in like a hawk. I’m here to say all the money went towards Tuna. Sorry dude! If you been following my posts, I’m will explain who Tuna is later.
No, I don’t hate Facebook. I love keeping in touch. I love seeing happy statuses of friends on Facebook.
What I wanted more was my goals to be accomplished. That wasn’t going to happen by wanting or wishing. I figure the time I spend scrolling on Facebook could be time spend on working on myself.
Because I spent less time on Facebook, and more time on myself, miracles happened. I’m not obsessed with looking successful just to post on social media. I’m more interested in being successful.
Remember, social media notifications are great. Payment notifications are better. I’m here to tell you.
ANOTHER BIGGER-THAN MYSELF REASON WHY I STOPPED POSTING ON FACEBOOK.
How important is it to you to get recognition? Does your worth go up or down based on how many likes you get or if you are acknowledged by a friend?
Do you think any of the following?
- Receiving validation from others is amazing.
- Compliments make you feel like a bad mama jama.
- People will naturally give the compliments that they wish they receive themselves.
- Being recognized makes you feel more welcomed. It makes you feel wanted.
From my years of being in school, I learned that many times, people will not acknowledge what you’ve done, no matter how well you personally think you did. I can tell you from personal experience that I was overlooked and surpassed all the time. So when people did acknowledge me, it was strange haha. It’s nice to be recognized for your contributions, but the biggest lesson I learned from all this is to recognize myself and give myself my own accolades. That way, my self-worth and confidence isn’t based on other people, it’s based on myself. And that way, if the applause happens to come my way, it will be icing on the cake instead of the whole cake. Does that make sense?
One of the best articles I’ve seen on this subject is Why People Won’t Acknowledge You. It’s pure genius.
In fact, I’m not going to re-invent the wheel here. According to Leon F. Seltzer, Ph. D, this is why people won’t recognize you:
- If they were “recognition-deprived” in growing up (by parents far more likely to criticize than to commend them), praising another might feel uneasy or unsettling (and for reasons that, consciously, they can only dimly perceive). Bestowing on someone else the acknowledgment they never received themselves might open the lid on long-suppressed psychic pain, making them experience afresh never-healed emotional wounds.
- If they’re competitive—because they need constantly to prove themselves—then explicitly paying tribute to another’s achievements might make them feel as though they’re admitting inferiority, ineptitude, or defeat—a confession of failure their fragile ego might lack the strength to tolerate. Even beyond that, some individuals can only feel good about themselves by putting others down, in which case the only compliments they're capable of are backhanded ones.
- If they think that another’s accomplishments and contributions (particularly their children’s) are no more than what ought to be expected from them, they may not regard such acts as even worthy of acknowledgment.
- If they believe (or had drilled into them by praise-withholding parents) that lauding another for their achievements might go to the recipient’s head—that is, lead them to become conceited, cocky, or egotistical—then they may intentionally withhold recognition (and regardless of how much the situation might warrant it).
- If they’re in denial about their own unmet need for acknowledgment, it might not even occur to them that positively recognizing another—and for that person’s efforts, as well as accomplishments—might be in order. For example, commending a friend, when appropriate, is a responsibility (in fact, almost a “requirement”) in a close relationship; yet they’re unable to do so.
- If they have a strong sense of entitlement (because, say, their parents actually prompted them to believe the privileges they received were actually “rights”), then whatever recognition they receive from others will be expected, or taken for granted. And so any sense of obligation to respond in kind won’t be part of their (narcissistic) behavioral repertoire. They actually won’t even consider expressing appreciation, thanks, or gratitude when someone acts generously or kindly toward them.
Here’s another great list by Meditation Guru of why people don’t acknowledge you.
- If suddenly you find that people are ignoring you then most probably you are doing well and you don’t have time to pay attention to others.
- People ignore you that does not mean that you are stupid. Perhaps they are more stupid than you. They might try to make you think you are stupid when they are actually the ones who are stupid.
- Sometimes a people ignore you because they is unable to dominate or manipulate you. Sometimes they ignore you because they feel inferior in your presence. They want to escape from the reality.
- If you stop gossiping then people who love gossip will avoid you and you will lose some friends. If you quit smoking then smokers will quit you. If you stop drinking alcohol then drinkers will avoid you. If you get rich then poor will ignore you. Birds of the same feather flock together. In other words, if you leveled up people may think you are better (by default.) I remember in school that people kept telling me “Don’t forget about us little people.” But I never said they were little or I thought I was better?
- There are so many important things in life then paying attention to sick behavior of a person and trying to figure out why they are behaving this way. The time you spend trying to figure out why people are avoiding/ignoring you can be time spent on being successful and doing something productive.
- Nothing is permanent. Humans are unpredictable. Kids will cry when they need your attention and adults will ignore you when they seek your attention.
- Ignore the person who ignore you. Or take the high road when their stanky asses come back around. Up to you.
- When a person ignores you they creating an empty space in your life. Use that space wisely to create something meaningful and productive.
- Perhaps he is not ignoring you, he is simply going through a phase. I have to be honest and say this has been the case for me several times.
- Realize that there will be always some people who ‘like’ you and there will be always some people who ‘dislike’ you. A person who ‘like’ you today may ‘dislike’ you tomorrow.
- Never seek approval from others.
- If someone is ignoring you then it is his/her problem because he is slave of his own limiting belief about you.
- Some people feel jealous of your success, happiness or positive attitude.
- Some people are attention seeker drama queens. (Pay attention to me or I will ignore you..!)
- Some people want more respect, if you don’t give them respect then they will ignore you.
- People have an agenda, if you don’t fit into their agenda then they will ignore you.
- Some people has a policy of use and throw.
- Some people are really busy and they don’t have time for you.
- Some people have many problems and unsolved issues in their personal life.
- Some people believe that you are stupid. Their belief is not your reality.
- Perhaps they want to hide their ugly faces. (Geez Mediation Guru.)
- Perhaps they are trying to escape from the reality.
- Perhaps your role in their life is finished.
- Perhaps they feel inferiority complex in your presence.
- Perhaps they believe that now you are useless for them.
- You can’t control others but you can control your own emotions.
- Redirect your attention on something which makes you feel happy.
- Never get attached to people and their silly opinions about you.
- Love and hate are two faces of the same coin.
- There is no need to prove yourself.
So after reading all of this. If someone that I know doesn’t “like” something of mine, SO WHAT. I did not wake up just to impress them or seek their approval! I didn’t even post on Facebook when I got on the Huff. Because I clapped for my own damn self and told a select group of people.
Sources: Leon F. Seltzer, Ph. D, Meditation Guru
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