Why I Will Never Teach My Mannequin Kids The Mannequin Challenge

Hi. We’ve never met. I don’t get out much. I’m a mannequin.

You’ve probably heard of, or maybe even participated in, the “mannequin challenge.” It’s where a group of people tries to remain as still as possible ― like mannequins ― while one person records a video.

This completely insulting and outdated practice is yet another example of justice standing still. And that’s why I will never teach my children, my next of manne-kin, the mannequin challenge.

You’re perpetuating the stereotype that all we mannequins do is stand still in specific poses inanimately.

You pretend not to move ― I was born like this!

I may be humanly-challenged, but I’m not a “challenge” for you and your human friends ― you “movies.”

To think that we mannequins are put on display our entire lives, using our bodies to sell your clothing and jewelry ― clothing and jewelry we ourselves will never own ― and you humans boil our entire existence down to an internet meme.

Mannequins deserve your respect, regardless of where they stand on the issues — or in the window.

We mannequins would never create a game where we all suddenly flail our arms and legs about, pretending to make pies or change tires or take a pottery class ― I don’t know, whatever it is you skin bags do!

Don’t walk away from this conversation just because you’re uncomfortable! I don’t have that option.

Oh, you were behind me. Sorry, yeah, I can’t move my head.

Have you no heart? ... No, really, I’m asking seriously. Other than what you guys gave me, I’m not that familiar with human anatomy. They’re in the knees, right, those hearts?

Anyway, it is my hope that mannequin children across the globe will grow up in a world that sees them as real people. And then get freaked out slightly. And then realize they are mannequins.

Real mannequins.