Why Im calling out Lin-Manuel Miranda for discrimination

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A couple of months back I found my way onto the Hamilton Bandwagon.

So we know Lin-Miguel Manuela is a certified genius. What is it, 16 Tony nominations, 11 wins, a Grammy and just that small thing known as a Pulitzer Prize. He has rapped at the White House, been asked to run for President, and you can't buy a ticket to the sold out smash hit show for love or money unless you happen to be Beyonce, though you can give it a try here.

So I hate to be one to throw shade on such pure gold, but I'm seriously unimpressed with the discrimination that's so obviously going on here... You see it right? The Australian Hamilton tour has been announced. For the year 2020. 4 years away! Whaaat? It's still better than the 6 years we have waited for Book Of Mormon (arriving here in 2017!) but surely we deserve to see the show before the folks from the tiny island across the sea whom you fought a whole Revolution against? (or could this be an underhanded way of Lin getting in with the Chuggington's.... hmmmmm, I wonder...).

Anyway, here's my plea to Mr Miranda to come down under before storming the west end. Set to the tune of his brilliant "wait for it", with rhymes that will no doubt make him blush for their cringe worthiness.

It's time to take my shot.


Mr Miranda I ask for a minute of your time
I'm going to try and put it all down in rhyme
We are at the arse end of the world
But don't we deserve some lovin' too?
And even if I flew across the world
I couldn't see it til June...

Why do you discriminate
'tween "kind sir" and "G'day mate"
We wait and we wait and we wait
Can 2020 be the day?
That seems bloody far away
Op'ning night, start a fight, t'ween our main States
And is there a reason, London gets it first?
Well I think that's just the worst...
Why do we have to wait for it?
Why do we have to wait for it?

Take a break down under to write your next great song
(your song, your song, your song)
We can get a hammock, and some green and gold thongs
(thongs, thongs, thongs)
Our found-ing* father was James Cook
We don't have a fancy Bill of Rights
I hear James Cook was a crook
But you could make him seem al'right

Why do you discriminate
'tween "kind sir" and "G'day mate",
I hate, that its coming here so late
We keep list'ning anyway
We laugh and we cry
Our hearts break
And you've made a mistake
And is there a reason, London gets it first?
Well I think that's just the worst...
Why do we have to wait for it?
We shouldn't have to wait for it.

Flattery to test its you who's in control-
You are inimitable, you are an original
Our clock isn't behind, or running late
We are 12 hours ahead and still have to wait!

I fear I'm facing an endless uphill climb
The contracts probably set
The theater's surely checked
Give us some Ham4Ham
At least to pass the time
Can you feel my pain yet...?

For now I guess I'll have to
Make do with old YouTubes
(with you, and Ms Soo, massive data use)
The new cast seems a good few
But it'd be better if you came
We'll find a perfect time and place
And it's not a reason, to bawl or ugly cry
But I won't be satisfied, goddamit
If I have to wait for it. I guess I'll have to wait for it.

Why do you discriminate
between kind sir and g'day mate, if Trump wins, come here to immigrate
They can keep young Elder Price
And even Fanny Brice, she's nice but she ain't no Li'za
And is there a reason London gets it first
Well I think that's just the worst
It sucks we have to
Wait for it... wait for it

* James Cook "found" Australia for the British, and his name served the rhyme... But our Federation was actually envisioned by a group of men including Sir Henry Parkes, whose nickname was Hi-Ham. That's true.