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Why I'm Choosing to Be a Surrogate

After the birth of my daughter, my first child, I felt something I never could have imagined existed.
03/15/2016 09:42am ET | Updated March 16, 2017
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High Angle View Of Pregnant Woman Sitting On Bed

After the birth of my daughter, my first child, I felt something I never could have imagined existed. It's different for everyone, that feeling you get when you hold your child in your arms for the first time. When you realize you are a parent and from that moment on, no matter how you choose to use that time, you are that baby's parent forever.

I was overcome with the want and the need for every woman and man out there who wanted to be a parent to have the opportunity to feel that joy and to experience that gift. Now, don't get me wrong -- I'm a firm believer that children are a major responsibility and that the choice to have children shouldn't be made lightly. And for those people who, for whatever reason, are unable to have a child the old-fashioned way, why can't they be given the chance for a biological child?

Of course there is the debate that there are endless amounts of babies and children in need of families who are up for adoption, and I commend any and everyone who has started or built their family this way. But what if the option to have a biological child was there, too? What if the option for those "He has your eyes" and "She looks so much like her sister" moments was available through means of a surrogate?

I had pretty easy pregnancies, and even though childbirth is hard and has its unexpected moments, I loved every painful minute of it. I loved being pregnant. I felt like I had the greatest superpower on Earth. I can produce children... and milk. And yes, so can millions of other women and truly I'm not any better than them. Mostly, I'm just willing to go through getting pregnant unconventionally and enduring pregnancy for someone else, something not every woman is willing to do. So why not use this need and ability for good, now that I'm finished having my own children? Being a surrogate and providing someone the gift of parenthood (the best thing I ever did) would be a gift for me in return.

I've had some people, mostly men, ask me about the emotional attachment I'd feel for the baby and ask if I could really just hand over the baby and walk away. My response is simple: It's not my baby (and I'm hoping to not just be walking away). The baby would have its parents' DNA. Sure, I will feel some emotions having grown an attachment towards the baby over the course of the pregnancy. But I understand that this is not my child (I'm not donating my eggs). It is someone else's gift. I'm just helping them on their journey to becoming parents and to experiencing that feeling they never could have imagined existed. There is no better gift than creating life. And through science, the options for deserving people to become parents are possible.