Why I'm Glad I'm Not a Woman

Being male affords me certain privileges.

I don't have to give birth, or suffer the mind-shredding agony of a period (these descriptions were more than enough to convey the horror of that particular experience).

But there are a few other reasons I'm glad I'm an Adam and not an Eve. Here's just a handful.

1. I get a fair wage.

I am compensated well for the work I do. I don't know how it feels to arbitrarily earn 14% less than my counterparts.  I'll have a higher pension,  because statistics suggest I'll be in a better paid job where I'm able to save more than females can.  Sounds fair, right?

2. I can go for a walk at night without fear.

When I leave the house by myself, I don't feel vulnerable. I've never had to buy a rape alarm, or feel uneasy hearing footsteps behind me. If I get raped, I won't be accused of 'inviting' it or somehow being at fault because of what I'm wearing.

3. I have control over my own body.

I can do what I want with this fleshy blob I call home. Admittedly, all I do is eat candy and drink beer, but I don't have to explain or defend my health choices to anyone, nor be bullied or criminalised for them.

4. I don't have to work as hard.

I'm a white guy in a white guy's system. That means I don't have to work harder than the opposite sex to get ahead or even be recognised as an equal. I have an automatic head start that is completely undeserved.

5. I don't have to choose between work and kids.

I've never once been asked how I'll juggle my job and my family. I've never had to explain why I prefer one over the other, and I've never been made to feel guilty for prioritising what I want over what people expect.

6. I won't be written off as I get older.

I know that society won't judge me on my looks as I age. I don't have to put up with the narrative in today's world that says getting older means I'll be less desirable. Nor am I expected to put on makeup every morning, or do my hair up, or wear high heels. If I don't have kids or a wife by 35, I know society won't see me as defective goods.

7. I can be confident without being seen as 'shrill'.

I know I can be assertive in a meeting without being called a bitch, or domineering. If I were single, I could have many sexual partners and be labelled a 'player',  not a  'slut'. I can excel in my career without insinuations that I've achieved by means foul rather than fair.

So there you have it. Even in the 21st Century, it pays (literally) to be a man. But just because it pays doesn't mean we should buy it.