Why Is It So Hard To Find a True Friend?

My daughter reminds me everyday how important it is to have girlfriends that you can rely on. She does not say it as openly or as clearly as that (she's a teenager after all) but I know what she means.


It's in her eyes when something happens and she wants to call or text someone but hesitates as to who it should be. It's in her beautiful face when her smile isn't shining. It's in her actions when she is grumpy or moody or just lashes out at the first family member she comes into contact with. It's there.

The truth is, at times, it's there for me too. I may have a free hour and want to grab coffee with someone but am not sure whom I should ask. I may be having a rough day with my kids and want to vent about it but am unsure which person to call.


Is it that difficult to come across another woman who is similar to my personality or myself? Is it that impossible to find another woman who is reliable, willing to be honest with you and also fun to have around? While I know the combination was hard to uncover during my high school years, it seems to be equally apparent during my "mothering" years. Maybe most do not realize how valuable an authentic friendship can be?

Some of the women my age do not feel they have the time to commit to a real friendship. They have kids to drive around, recitals to attend or football games to cheer at. Many prefer to spend everyday at the gym or go shopping as if it was a full-time job. The issue with those scenarios is that none of them resonate with me. To that end, this is not an advertisement for a new friend; rather it is an enlightenment of sorts. It's a coming-to-terms moment for me.

You may believe you are dissimilar to your own daughter, but in fact, that may not be the case. Yes, there are obvious differences - hairstyles, clothing choices, and the ability to text as quickly as lighting appears in the sky. But, the essence, the core of you and of her is likely to be pretty darn similar.


Daughters hear everything mothers say. They take it in and process it instantly. They relate to it or, at the very least, they get it. They watch how you are, how you spend your money, how you spend your time and with whom you spend your time.

Every time my daughter leaves the house for an evening, I blurt out, "Make good choices." I have been saying that exact statement since she is a very little girl. I'm like a broken record and I mean it every single time I say it. This same principal holds true when picking friends; make good choices.

There's a saying that I have heard over the years and I try very hard to apply it to my life. "You give what you get and you get what you give." It is a simply put yet meaningful saying. You may want to read it again. It should not be this challenging to find a friend that matters to you as much as you matter to them.

Most women may not realize how much they need other women as friends. Once you find a good one, hold on to her and treasure that friendship like gold. Over the years you and she may even become "sisters" and that would be the icing on top for sure!