I've spent a good deal of time lately thinking about the overwhelmingly negative reaction of more mainstream Mormon women to the most outspoken feminist movement within the Mormon church: Ordain Women. Mainstream Mormon women say that they do not want the priesthood , that they are happy with the role of women in the church, and argue that they already feel greatly valued within the patriarchy of the church. But why? Are Mormon women simply socialized and oppressed to such a level that they can't see how much they are missing out on?
The priesthood in the Mormon church is right now given exclusively to men as a matter of course, beginning at age twelve. A recent essay released by the Mormon church admits that in the past, women were allowed to give blessings of healings, but the essay insists that this was not then and should not now be interpreted as women being given the priesthood mantle of authority or the right to lead the church in any way. God has given this right exclusively to men, as was demonstrated by the fact that Christ Himself called only men as his apostles. Mormon history claims that Peter, James and John themselves came back as resurrected beings and restored the keys that were lost at the time they left the earth in death. They gave these keys, of course, to men (Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery).
Yet the essay admits that women do exercise the priesthood within certain bounds inside of Mormonism. In certain sacred temple ordinances, Mormon women in the temple lay hands on heads of other women and give blessings. And women are called to leadership positions within the church, though only over other women and children. These women leaders, the essay also admits, are exercising the priesthood when they pray to be inspired about their stewardship, when they give lessons, when they call others to help them in their work. Mormon women have recently been asked to join some of the church's highest councils and they have been asked to pray in the semi-annual General Conference . But still, Mormon women do not have the priesthood.
Why do I think most women do not want the Mormon priesthood?
1.Lack of reward/pay
2.A sense of already being overwhelmed.
3.Lack of preparation.
In Mormonism, being called to leadership positions is largely considered a duty rather than a prize. Because we have a largely lay leadership, and because the local positions are all unpaid, it is truly a difficult job to take in addition to regular full-time work. For bishops, which are possibly the most labor intensive position in the church, for the twenty to thirty (or more) hours per week, the only compensations are rather intangible--God's approval, gratitude of the ward, and the not entirely desirable prospect of more leadership positions over larger groups, such as Stake President--also an unpaid position.
Mormon women already do a lot of unpaid, unseen work within the church, from Relief Society, Primary, and Young Women organizations to Compassionate Service committee work (for giving to those in the ward community who are in special need), youth summer camps, choirs, ward activity committees, and on and on. I've received numerous emails from angry men and women who feel that my essays do not sufficiently portray the amount of work women are already doing in the Mormon church and one man insisted "the Mormon church is run by the women." I've heard many men point out that if you want something done well, you call the Relief Society. This is all invisible work, and perhaps it is only natural modesty that means that women would prefer not to be recognized more openly for what they do.
In addition to church work, Mormon women are expected to take the lion's share of responsibility of raising children and creating a good home environment (work that women outside of Mormonism also do a disproportionate share of). They are also expected to have large families, if possible, because the commandment to "multiply and replenish the earth" is still in effect.
If what it seems that Ordain Women is offering is for Mormon women to take on even more unpaid and unseen work, you might begin to see why they are saying, "No, thank you."
And then there is the reality that women have not been trained since early childhood to gradually take on more responsibility within the church, as has every young man since the age of twelve. Young Mormon men move from passing the sacrament (communion) in wards and going door to door to take offerings to missionary work at the age of eighteen and then to other leadership positions. They are not only expected to do this work, but they are shown step by step how to do it by watching their peers and by the rotating lay leadership even among the youth.
What do young women do within the Mormon church to prepare them for leadership? Well, it's not nothing, but it's a lot less. There is the Personal Progress program which the church has instituted as a parallel to the Eagle Scout for the boys. Some young women find this program wonderfully inspiring and helpful as a guide to adult womanhood. Others find it--lacking. There is no equivalent to the final Eagle Scout project which requires taking a leadership over others. Personal Progress focuses on the feminine virtues: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and Virtue.
From my perspective as a mother of three daughters who have been through the Young Women program in the Mormon church, I see that my daughters are explicitly told that the most important work they will do is as wives and mothers. I see a lot of focus on chastity, on learning skills to use at home in cooking or childcare, and in learning to read the scriptures and pray. I do not mean to imply that Mormon young women are told not to earn college degrees, but they are often encouraged to think of college as preparation for work at home and within the church, not outside of it. And while they are called to leadership positions within each class of the organization, they do not have responsibilities for the ward as a whole as the young men do.
When the missionary age for women changed from twenty-one to nineteen in 2012, I was excited to see the opportunity for more women to serve and I predicted then that this would be the beginning of a great change within women within the church. These larger numbers of women missionaries who come home will not only expect to have more responsibility within the church, but they will be prepared for it. They will have taught men and women of all ages, and while they still cannot baptize, they do serve in many leadership callings among other missionaries. My own daughter served a mission from 2013-2015 and I see a change in her abilities and her expectations already. This will be worldwide, and I think it will be a great thing for Mormon women and for the Mormon church itself.
Telling women who have prepared all their lives to be good mothers, wives, and Relief Society Presidents that they are expected now to do more work within the church without being paid and without much thanks is not liberation, not really. It is the same old double standard. It is one of the problems that I see in the history of feminism. The patriarchy itself can use feminist ideals for its own aims, can twist the gains of feminism to perpetuate itself. As feminists, we need to look past what we see as "obviously" beneficial to women and consider the individuals in their own unique circumstances. And perhaps we also need to listen more. Equality may not always look the same in every culture. I am not saying we should give the Mormon church a pass, only that we need to look more deeply at assumptions of what power is, and how to make sure that women have a chance at it.