Why New Year's Resolutions Fail - and Three Easy Things You Can Do About It

Young women on the beach holding scarf in the air and looking into the distance
Young women on the beach holding scarf in the air and looking into the distance

I see many people in a hurry to look ahead at what 2016 will bring them. Goals abound and fancy well-meaning intentions light up our minds. Yet we all know that within 6 weeks - by mid-February as studies show - many of these goals will have fallen by the wayside.

I've found that this occurs when we are in such a hurry to build skyscrapers yet are unwilling to look at the very ground one is building upon and take time to prepare the soil.

Many people are actually more comfortable in hoping and fantasizing than actually making changes that will create lasting change. It takes a certain level of maturity and mastery to be willing to survey the landscape around us before we begin building our dreams.

This comes in 3 stages.

First stage - REFLECTION ON PAST GROWTH

I encourage you to make a list of what growth has occurred for you this past year before you rush into this New Year's resolutions.

There's something powerful about witnessing and acknowledging our own growth and it is an act of loving kindness towards ourselves since we all crave to be recognized for our good work and noble hearts. This moment here is a good moment to extend your own attention to yourself and recognize the beautiful growth that has occurred. Are you more confident in your own skin? More honest in relationships? More authentic and genuine at work?

Second stage - SURVEY THE INNER LANDSCAPE

The inner landscape is our inner world. Is the terrain well lit or are there shadow behaviors that undermine you and would cause shame if anyone knew about these behaviors? This relates to how you talk to your self, how critical you may be with yourself or how you handle your anger. The shame is an indicator of where there is some inner work to be done.

The inner landscape also speaks to congruency. Is what you see what you get? Life helped me learn this lesson some time ago by investing online in a very popular luxurious living coach who ended up being accused of fraud of how things may sparkle on the outside yet substance and depth is found in character strengths of integrity, honesty and caring.

Personally, I myself devoted last year to Integrity. What was born from my reflections on integrity was a six week program called Foundations of Authentic Leadership and Personal Mastery. It's become my core signature program which helps people to shape and shore up their foundations of success and life mastery. It is an awesome thing to see how when we focus on cleaning up our inner landscape, new growth occurs easily and gracefully in our world around us.

Third stage - SURVEY THE OUTER LANDSCAPE

Is the outer landscape suitable for building right now? Are there too many rocks in the way in the forms of busy-ness or too many energy leaks due to incomplete projects and unfinished tasks surrounding you?

I had one client who went through my Authentic Leadership and Personal Mastery program plug up a pattern of leaking energy through comparison and wasting hours each day online unsubscribe herself from various newsletters.

How many did she unsubscribe from? 1000.

1000 rivers of draining energy that came into her inbox every day that pulled on her very life force. She would unconsciously assess where she fit in amongst all of these influences and repeatedly felt deflated - and this was often before breakfast.

Do you have too many projects going on? Too many tasks on your to-do list that don't actually connect to your higher vision? This is where cleaning up our daily habits and our actual calendar actions serves our greater growth.

By taking some time to invest in where you have been and how you have grown, to self-inspect and look at your inner world to see if it is aligned with your goals for 2016 along with taking a good look at your outer world to see if their is room for the creation you desire is a wonderful and self-respecting way to begin this New Year.

I'd love to hear from you what your reflections on your growth in 2015 have been! Please comment here and if you liked this, please forward it to a friend!

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