This week has challenged my faith in the decency of humanity from a personal to an international level. Relating to each other with common courtesy and respect appears to be a thing of the past. I am at a point of boiling over with frustration, and I need to blow off some steam...
Between dealing with an ex, entitled misogynists, watching the news and some of The
Bachelor (this season should have been called The Asshole), I just want to find a deserted island (complete with a really nice bungalow, cook, housekeeper, and a way to listen to music), and go there with my children indefinitely. Not kidding.
It is 1am and my mind is reeling with thoughts of just a little retribution. I'm past the age of prank phone calls or sending 10 pizzas COD. Or am I? I'm past the stage of fantasizing that my fist would find its way into someone's already deviated septum. Or am I?
If there were a Super Bowl for relationships, I think the two rivals that would consistently face each other would be Expectations vs. Acceptance.
If you are divorced from someone who was never able to communicate or listen to you without an immediate knee jerk reaction jumping down your throat exhibiting no respect for you whatsoever, what would make you think that things would be different post divorce?
If you work with people who bully and have never typically shown regard for co-workers, why would you expect them to suddenly change their ways?
If you're having a conversation with The Bachelor on TV, who is showing consistently that he is incapable of having a conversation that doesn't go around in hurtful circles, why would you not see the red flag slapping you in the face caused by the hot air coming from his arrogant mouth?
Why? Because we innately want to believe in people. We want to believe that people care, and that they can and will change. We learn early on to live by the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
If we truly learned everything we need to know in Kindergarten, then I think by our fifth decade of life we should be required to take some continuing education classes! First course: How to Play Nicely in the Sandbox! I'm thinking that the benefits of this could likely extend past the microcosm of personal relationships, helping also on a national or even an international level.
Really people. Why, when we have a choice, can't we all just choose to try and get along?? Wouldn't everybody's lives be much happier and less stressful??
Is it unreasonable to expect that someone would show you respect by listening to you? To respond without inflicting wounds into your feelings of self-worth? To treat you with common courtesy? Is it? We all have varying degrees of expectations and there are times we must accept that they will not be met. As I see it, there are 3 options:
1- Try and explain what you need so that whomever you are addressing has the opportunity to listen, to know they aren't meeting your needs and to make an effort.
2- If they cannot or will not meet your needs you can either A) Accept that fact and deal with it as best as possible, or B) Move on.
3- Either way, don't beat your head against a wall or your fist into their deviated septum. Just learn to let it go. Or let them go!
There. I am done blowing off steam, and shall now attempt to follow my own advice. Perhaps I can now go to sleep...