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THE BLOG

Why Texting Should Not Be Used in a New Relationship

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Disclaimer: If you are not willing or wanting to commit to the development of a healthy relationship... this post is not for you.

Okay. If you are still reading, we most likely share these things in common: We want to be in a healthy relationship with someone. We have witnessed the benefits of good relationship or perhaps we are motivated by health reasons because we have heard people who are in good relationships live longer, happier and healthy lives.

So let's reverse engineer what makes a relationship a good one.
  • Limited amounts of stress -- Especially financial and health, yet in some cases couples who survive these things have the strongest and best relationships in town.
  • Unlimited amount of sex -- Well, at least as much as both parties want.
  • Good Communication -- The No. 1 reason why couples do not survive is due to their inability to communicate with each other.

Why is good communication so hard to achieve and/or keep? It is simply a matter of what reasons are emphasized for the "WHY" we communicate no matter what the circumstance may be. When the goal of the communicator is understanding for all parties involved, everybody wins. When we communicate for attention or just to be heard over being clear that understanding is taking place... this is where we get into trouble especially in a heated argument. If the goal is not understanding then both parties just end up repeating their points until someone gives up often resulting in both people walking away frustrated and upset.

2015-09-16-1442425286-3858922-NoTextDating.jpg Why is texting a bad idea in a new relationship? No matter what kind of relationship it is, there is so many things to learn and explore with someone new in the beginning. What kind of sense of humor does someone have? What makes a person happy, sad and angry? What situation and circumstances make them who they are or cause them to see things differently? There are many simple discoveries to make but together those things form a very complex and unique puzzle as no two people are exactly alike in their thoughts, actions and experiences. We use communication to unravel the mysteries of each other. Communication that is not just words but tonality, facial expressions, and body language.

There are no amounts of emoticons that make up for the lack of communication cues that are lost in text communication especially when communicating with someone new. Let's be honest if you use text as your main means of communication you have asked, "What did they mean by that?" more often than not. You are also likely to be able to recall a situation when you jumped to the wrong conclusion about someone's words.

Protecting Your New Relationship from Text -- Like a new born baby, your relationship has a delicate communication soft spot that needs protection. The best thing you can do to protect the soft spot from texting misunderstandings is find a way to say something like the following early on in the relationship.

"I really enjoyed getting to know you and look forward to seeing you again but don't be surprised if I don't text you or answer your texts with short responses. I don't use text that much until I know someone well because __________(Insert your own weird text story here)."

Or just say, "I like you too much to get lost in translation via text."

Need more inspiration? Here are eight more reasons to take a no text pledge.