SIMPLE is probably my least favorite word in the bridal vocabulary. What does it mean when a bride says she wants a SIMPLE wedding? That tells me absolutely nothing. I'm a wedding planner, not a psychic!
Just so we're all clear on this, Merriam-Webster explains the word SIMPLE as having three primary definitions:
Not hard to understand or do
Having few parts, not complex or fancy
Not special or unusual
I have never met a bride or groom who didn't want their wedding to be "special," and regardless of what kind of wedding the couple chooses, rarely will it have "few parts" and be "not hard" to do. But even if the true definition of SIMPLE is what the bride and groom want, the word still tells me absolutely nothing about their vision of their wedding day.
To make sure I wasn't missing something, I dug a little deeper for the extended definition of the word SIMPLE:
Free from guile
Free from vanity
Free from ostentation or display
Of humble origin or modest position
Lacking in knowledge or expertise
Not socially or culturally sophisticated
You get my point now, right? SIMPLE is probably the most overused word in weddings, while at the same time, its definition absolutely, positively does not apply to what the bride and groom are describing. A wedding is a "display" of your love, although it doesn't have to be ostentatious. And nobody wants their wedding to be considered "not socially or culturally sophisticated" even if they're DIYing every part of it! And let's not pretend there's not a little vanity in mind. Otherwise, brides wouldn't spend so much on wedding gowns, shoes, hair and makeup. Your wedding day is one of the only days you're allowed to be vain without feeling bad about it!
I believe most couples use the word SIMPLE when they mean easy and low stress - but wedding planners have to figure out what they're describing. Some couples mean they're not going to do fancy décor, or invite a lot of people. Telling a wedding planner that you want a SIMPLE wedding doesn't give them enough information to estimate a budget or give you recommendations. Using a non-descriptive word like SIMPLE when talking about a wedding does a massive disserve to the couple and their vendors.
Some brides and grooms use the word SIMPLE as a synonym for inexpensive, and that's not usually true. In fact, sometimes the things that look like the simplest choices are actually quite time-consuming and expensive to execute.
There's a better way to describe what you need and want for your wedding to your vendors, and it involves using a LOT of adjectives.
- When you start planning your wedding, think about what you really want in terms of details for your big day. Think color, texture, vibe - and write those things down. Do you have a particular theme in mind? Whether it's a "Frozen" Winter Wonderland, or a tropical island paradise, the theme will dictate some of the colors you use, and style of display.
Your wedding planner and wedding vendors want you to be happy on your wedding day, and that means we have to deliver as promised and help you execute your own vision of your big day. We don't have crystal balls - although I wish we did. We can't read your mind. If you want something, you have to tell us about it. Describe what you have in mind, and send us pictures if you have them. A wedding planner's ability to create your dream wedding depends, first and foremost, on your ability to explain what kind of wedding you want, in detail.
Until next time, happy wedding planning from Sandy Malone Weddings & Events!