Marie Forleo said, "If it's not a Hell Yes! then it's a no." This quote was passed on to me by my coach and out of all the advice I've been given about listening to my intuition this is it!
Why? Because the feeling you get when things are a Hell Yes! says it all. It's a combination of excitement, anticipation, joy, inspiration and love - and those things feel good inside. Think about the alternative -- what I call the "Meh." When I feel "Meh" about something I've learned it's a no.
I've spent a lifetime confused by the "Meh," so it's a tough one to unlearn. Somewhere along the line I was taught being a good girl meant you say yes, even if you mean no. Know what I have to say to that? No.
If it's not a Hell Yes! don't say yes. And let's be clear about that for a minute - there's no gray area here. Any amount of meh, maybe, sort of, awkward, annoyed or otherwise no, is a no. You don't have to guess about this. Ever. Let it feel crystal clear.
Problem is we think we have to say yes to stuff -- like stuff that's important to other people. We fear disappointing them. We're afraid they'll think we're a bitch, selfish, or bad if we say no. What others think about me is none of my business. How about if we say no, we just say no and don't attach all that baggage to it?
I've been teaching this important idea to my mom recently. Mom (like most), the ultimate expert in saying yes to everything even when she means no, is learning the consequences of that - how it can mess with her health. The Hell Yes! is actually one of the most important lessons in body awareness!
I could hear her hesitation when I said, "Mom, if it's not a Hell Yes! it's a no." I waited to see if she'd get on board. If you were taught taking care of others is more important than taking care of yourself, you'll resist this idea big time. You've learned to say yes even when your body screams no. Nobody taught you how to listen to and trust yourself and your own intuition. And nobody told you that saying yes when you mean no would hurt after a while.
"I told them no, that I'm not going to the meeting," my mom said. I jumped up and down and threw my hands in the air. She managed to say no to something she was dreading. I could feel the relief in my own chest as I read her words.
This isn't just about saying yes and no. It's about paying attention to the physical feeling in your body when you do either. It's about understanding the messages your body gives you and the language of your intuition. It's about your health, wellness and joy!
This is clear for me now yet I still falter. When indecision fogs up my brain I'm caught up in the "Meh" without realizing it. I need this tattooed on me somewhere. We all need reminders of what it feels like until it becomes second nature to feel and understand the difference and act accordingly.
Hell Yes! is easy to feel. It's simple, light, clear, joyful and free inside. It's the spectrum of "Meh" that's complicated. What about the sort of, almost, maybe Hell Yes!? Um...have you been reading? That's a no! As soon as you add anything else to the Hell Yes! it becomes stuck, heavy, foggy, tight or difficult. Those feelings are a no.
Get good at feeling this stuff. It's your ticket to aligning with what will bring you everything you desire. The Hell Yes! will set you free. The Hell Yes! will keep you happy and healthy! The Hell Yes! is everything when it comes to being your fiercely alive whole self!
Feeling the difference between the Hell Yes! and the "Meh" takes some practice. The most difficult part is when you second guess the "Meh," and call it a Hell Yes! You don't have to do that anymore. What feels bad is bad. Trust yourself. Let it be easy.
What does a Hell Yes! feel like for you? What about when it's a "Meh?" Tell me in the comments! Talk to your friends about the difference and hold each other accountable to living in and trusting the Hell Yes! to guide your life.
For more information about body awareness, waking up, being brave and healing your shit read my blog at www.LauraProbert.com