Why You Can't Let Go of the Past

Why You Can't Let Go of the Past
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Why can’t we let go? Why do so many cling to the ghost of a past relationship or spouse? Just like you remember your past, you can also “remember” you future.

Your past is made up of a large collection of memories. They are the faculty by which the mind stores and remembers information. You are not actually living out the memories anymore. However, if you afford the time and concentration you can reminisce back to them. If you close your eyes and think, you can place your consciousness back into them and “re-live” them. They are very powerful entities. Countless songs, movies, and every imaginable piece of art has been created around the intersection of love and nostalgia.

Memories can be very and fleeting and difficult to understand. They cause you to unconsciously repeat old patterns and behaviors. We have a tendency to “follow” memories without altering present direction. Even if your past relationship involved a lot of frustrations and miscues, you will most likely repeat the same mistakes. Why else do people repeatedly get involved in unhealthy relationships with neglectful partners?

So how do you remember the future? So much of what I tell my clients is that life, love, and business often are one in the same. They all require a dedicated amount of work. They all reward persistence. The “you” that you carry around doesn’t change a lot. You will typically act and conduct yourself similarly in all scenarios. A confident and emotionally intelligent person will generally behave similarly in an interview or first date. Thus, you should work on the “you” to get the most out of life.

Just like in business you need a plan. The power of choice should guide you away from past mistake patterns. There should be intentionality in all of your goals. Think about exactly who you want to attract and what they look like. Don’t just make a decision, make a resolution around finding love.

Imagine and picture the kind of person you want to attract. Create a vision-board. Create a list of “nice-to-haves” and “must-haves”. What do they look like? Where do they spend their time? How can you reduce your weaknesses and highlight your strengths? These are very crucial questions to ask yourself. They reveal the persona you want. They help you alter your lifestyle into one that is congruent with the person you want to attract. You should actively forecast the kind of life you seek.

This is how you remember your future. It is an active, mindful, and productive, version of daydreaming. It is very possible to live in the present moment but also plan out the future. After all, you are forecasting what you want based on your authentic, present self. The ideas and desires that begin in our mind are simply the beginning of manifested concrete action later on.

As Napolean Hill eloquently states, “Truly, thoughts are things, and powerful things at that, when they are mixed with definiteness of purpose, persistence, and a burning desire for their translation into riches, or other material objects.”

Get quiet, focused, and listen to those thoughts. Don’t fear that which you really want. Don’t just remember your past, remember you future as well.

So how do you remember the future? We remember the future the same way we remember our past. We create it and then we relive it. Visualize who you are tomorrow... who you truly desire to become, see your success, see your soulmate, take the time to create the future right now in the present.

When you create this future today, tomorrow you will remember the future you created. Now you have the power of choice:

1.) Choose my past that didn't serve me.

2.) Or remember the clear future I desire and choose to take steps now to create that.

Co-Authored by Shawn Richardson. Devon Kerns is a Dating and Business Coach. You can find more content from Devon at devonkerns.rocks. Follow Devon on Facebook, Twitter, and Soundcloud.

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