The rules of wedding etiquette are constantly changing, making it difficult for modern brides, grooms and guests to find up-to-date and correct information. That's why we launched #MannersMondays, a series in which we ask our followers on Twitter and Facebook to submit their most burning etiquette-related questions. Then, with the help of our team of etiquette experts, we get you the right answers to your biggest Big Day dilemmas. Check out this week's question below!
At my new job, I am being mentored by a colleague I have known in a professional sense for many years. He has been terrific and really helped me in this transition. Problem: his daughter is getting married in a couple of months -- a black-tie affair. I've been told my wife and I should expect an invitation. But we don't know his daughter and probably won't know many people at the wedding. Is it tacky not to go? Would it be tacky of me to ask others at work, including our mutual supervisor, if they intend to go? Frankly, I'd prefer not to go but my colleague is a terrific guy and I'd hate to tarnish our relationship. - David B.
Amber Harrison -- Wedding Papers Divas' resident wedding and etiquette expert -- is here to help us answer this week's question. Here's what she had to say:
Congratulations on the new job! The fact that your mentor considers you close enough to invite you to his daughter’s wedding speaks volumes. Creating a wedding guest list is a long and deliberate process that requires a lot of compromise all around. While you are not obligated to accept the invitation (though, you are obligated to send a gift), it sounds as though your presence would be meaningful and demonstrate your support for your colleague and his family.
If you have a conflict and are unable to attend, you can send your heartfelt regrets once you receive the invitation. If you choose not to attend because it is inconvenient, there is always the possibility of hurt feelings that may put your relationship at risk. Either way, asking other colleagues about their plans is a sure way to stir up trouble. It is quite possible you are the only one from the office invited and discussing that could lead to a variety of awkward situations for both you and your mentor.
If you decide to attend, try to enjoy a beautiful event with your wife and make sure you are open to new experiences – you very well may have the opportunity to meet some new and interesting people!
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