Yelling at your kids is not uncommon. Kids don't listen, parents get frustrated, and next thing you know you're loosing your temper. Every parent has done it and if you say you haven't, I'm going to go ahead and say you're lying. Just because it's common does not mean it is the right way to discipline. In fact, I believe it is one of the most detrimental ways to discipline and here's why.
It's detrimental to you.
How do you feel after yelling at your kids? It probably does not make you feel better and I know it doesn't make your kids feel better. Yelling most likely gets you more frustrated and angrier than you were in the first place. Especially when you children don't respond the way you want them to. What about the guilt? After it's all said and done, you won't give yourself a pat on the back for a great job yelling. You'll feel guilty and remorseful. Bottom line, yelling makes me feel like a bad mother.
It doesn't work.
Kids don't respond to adults yelling at them just like adults don't respond well to adults yelling at them. If you really want to connect with your children talk to them. Open a line of conversation where your kids don't feel afraid to communicate with you.
Our kids deserve our respect. Just because they are smaller than us, weaker than us, or because you are "the boss" doesn't mean that they aren't human beings just like us. Yelling does not get you your way out of respect, it gets you your way out of fear. If you want your kids to respect you, you have to show them a decent amount of respect too. This does not mean that I don't believe in discipline because I 100% DO. I just don't believe in bullying as a form of discipline.
Monkey see, monkey do.
Would you teach your children to yell at their peers? Their teachers? Their future spouses and children? What about their future employees? By yelling at your children you are teaching them that is the appropriate way to deal with their anger.
Let me ask you this, would you allow others to yell at your children? If you heard that a teacher, another student, or a friends parents were yelling at your child the way you do how would you handle that? Would you encourage them to stay at a job where their employer yelled at them? Or stay in a marriage where their spouse yelled at them?
Kids are kids. They are going to mess up, test you, and push your limits well into their adult lives. How you respond will make all the difference in this world. I'm not saying that I've never lost control and I'm not saying that I will never lose control again. Parents are not perfect and that is okay. What I am saying is that from now on we all need to make a conscious effort to raise our children to be the type of adults the world needs. Adults who know how to handle their emotions, show compassion, and communicate properly with others.
So, how do you stop yelling? Visit Sunshine Momma for tips on how to calm down in the heat of the moment.
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