Why You Suck At Having Friends

Do you have hundreds of Facebook friends but very few real friends? Did Karen’s pictures of brunch with the ladies send your day into a funk? Good. You suck at having friends.

As millennials, we’re too into social media. Think about how many pictures you have to take before you find “the right one” to post. Now realize that everyone does that. Your life is just as mundane as theirs is.

Why do you need to tell everyone every single thing about your boring life? Do you care about what other people think that much? This is the problem we face: too much FaceTime and not enough face time. We’re way too into being socially available. When you have too many options, your brain gets overloaded and can’t properly weigh options anymore. If you’re buying something and only have three options, you’re more likely to pick the first one. If you’re buying something and have 15 options, you’re likely to pick from the ones at the end. This is why you’re waiting for the last moment to make your plans, and that is why you suck at having friends.

Unplug yourself.

Do you realize how much time you waste staring at your phone? You get a hit of dopamine every time you log onto your Twitter/Instagram/Facebook, etc. and see those sweet notifications. You’re getting addicted to it. With so much of ourselves available for others to see, we spend more time building up an image of ourselves instead of building our actual selves.

I’m not saying delete your Facebook account, but delete the app. Force yourself to use the browser version of Facebook on your phone. Why? Because the browser version is shit. It will make you want to use it less. Delete your Twitter app, your Instagram app, your Snapchat. Get rid of it. You don’t need it. You’ll miss out on the occasional thing that happens, but so what?

With all this new free time you’ll have (trust me, you’ll have a lot), you can spend your time going for a run, writing/reading that book you wanted to get to, and you’ll even have more time to go see your friends. Text them, ask if they want to meet for coffee after you’re done reading this post.

When you’re out, don’t bother with your phone unless you know you’re expecting something. Check a text if it comes in, but don’t sit with your friend in a coffee shop while you both look at your phones.

There are a lot of reasons why unplugging yourself is beneficial. When you’re less distracted, you’ve got more time to focus and be a better friend. With less time on social media, you’ll actually feel better. Without your social networks calling you back, you’ll stop pretending that liking pizza is a legitimate personality trait.

Go outside.