WikiLeaks Attempts to Expose Palin's Thoughts, Finds Nothing

"I challenge the best hackers in the business to have a look inside," Julian Assange said, speaking from an undisclosed location. "There's nothing there."
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NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) -- WikilLeaks has finally met its match.

That's the bombshell from fugitive founder Julian Assange, who said that after months of hacking former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's brain, WikiLeaks has come up empty.

"I challenge the best hackers in the business to have a look inside," he said, speaking from an undisclosed location. "There's nothing there."

Mr. Assange, still on the run from authorities, said that once his team of hackers gained access to Gov. Palin's brain, "What little we found there was so encrypted it bore no resemblance to any recognizable language."

The WikiLeaks founder said that his discovery about Gov. Palin's brain is good news for her political future: "Most politicians have to worry about their private thoughts coming back to haunt them, but that clearly isn't going to be a problem for her."

For her part, Gov. Palin seemed to be relishing her role as the one politician in the world who has nothing to fear from WikiLeaks.

On Twitter, she addressed the following message to Mr. Assange: "How's that Wiki-Leaky thing workin out for ya?" More here.

The Los Angeles Times says Andy Borowitz has "one of the funniest Twitter feeds around." Follow Andy on Twitter here.

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