Parenting

17 Funny And Earnest Parenting Quotes From Will Ferrell

The comedian has three sons — Magnus, Mattias and Axel.
Will Ferrell attends the premiere of "Daddy's Home 2" in Los Angeles on Nov. 5, 2017, with his wife, Viveca Paulin, and sons (left to right) Magnus, Mattias and Axel.
Will Ferrell attends the premiere of "Daddy's Home 2" in Los Angeles on Nov. 5, 2017, with his wife, Viveca Paulin, and sons (left to right) Magnus, Mattias and Axel.

Will Ferrell has an opinion or two about parenthood.

The comedian and his wife, Viveca Paulin, have three sons, Magnus, Mattias and Axel. Since becoming a father in 2004, he’s shared his jokes and wisdom about the parenting experience in a variety of interviews.

In honor of his birthday, we’ve rounded up 17 humorous and sincere quotes about fatherhood from the “Anchorman” star.

On His Advice For Parenting Little Kids

“Try to look your child in the eye. ... Get to know their name, that becomes important when you want something. And remember to feed them. That’s about all you need.”

On Raising Three Kids

“I sometimes equate it to what it must be like running a prison. What happens with three boys is you end up barking out orders like, ‘Upstairs now!’ ‘Brush teeth!’ ‘Lights out!’ There is so much chaos you can’t really take the time to articulate.”

On Relating To ‘Daddy’s Home’

“The message of the movie is we’re all flying blind a little bit as parents, we’re just trying and hoping that we’re doing the right thing. We don’t really know but as long as there’s enough love in a family, it’ll cushion any bumpy landing. I can definitely identify with that.”

On His Kids’ Arguing Skills

“My kids turn into trial lawyers, with the most amazing defenses. My son tried to convince us when he lost a $100 wetsuit that we bought for him at a resort that it was our fault for buying it for him in the first place because then he had to keep track of it. That’s amazing. I thought, ‘You’re going to grow up to be a lawyer.’ That’s amazing! You’re wrong but I can really appreciate the argument.”

Ferrell and his family attend his star ceremony at the Hollywood Walk of Fame on March 24, 2015.
Ferrell and his family attend his star ceremony at the Hollywood Walk of Fame on March 24, 2015.

On Dad Mode

“[When] I lose my temper and I really become a dad, I often think, ‘Oh, if anyone was a fly on the wall, they’d be like, “Will Ferrell is not a funny father!”’”

On His Best Parenting Advice

“Talk to your children, at least once a week. If you’ve got time, do it two or three times a week. But otherwise, I find the times where I let weeks and weeks go by without talking to my children, that adds up.”

On How His Kids See Him

“I’m just weird dad.”

On The Way To Survive Parent-Teacher Night

“Oh that’s easy, I just don’t go. I never know when they are.”

On Bedtime Stories

“A lot of times I’ll get, ‘Stop with the voices, let’s get back to the story. Like, I appreciate what you’re trying to do but you’re taking away from the story.’”

Ferrell and his family attend the New York "Daddy's Home" premiere on Dec. 13, 2015.
Ferrell and his family attend the New York "Daddy's Home" premiere on Dec. 13, 2015.

On Tearing Up When His Kids Show Him Love

“It’s one of those things that’s both endearing and comedic at the same time. But it’s true: I find myself constantly getting caught up in what I would have viewed as a child as silly, like, ‘Why are my parents crying?’ Now I’m in those shoes, crying or trying not to cry over something that seems so incidental.”

On The Humor In Children

“Boy, they make me laugh probably every single day just with the way they look at the world. As everyone who has kids knows, [children have] a completely unique outlook about the world, and the stuff they come up with every day makes me laugh.”

On Being A Jokester At Home

“I’ll also just do things like walk around the house and just show the top of my butt crack and not notice it. They’ll be like, ‘Dad, what are you doing?’

On Parenting Boys

“There is usually a high volume in the house. Whether they’re having a great time or whether they’re losing their minds, they are always yelling.”

Ferrell and his family attend the K-Swiss Global Tennis Showdown to benefit the Swedish School of LA at the Los Angeles Tennis Center at UCLA on May 2, 2009.
Ferrell and his family attend the K-Swiss Global Tennis Showdown to benefit the Swedish School of LA at the Los Angeles Tennis Center at UCLA on May 2, 2009.

On Over-The-Top Birthday Parties

“We are in the era of birthday parties with a parting gift and a bouncing house and jugglers and a live camel. My wife and I go in the opposite direction. We’re like, ‘Guess what? We are having a backyard party. We’re going to run around, and at a certain point, cake is going to come out. “Do I get a parting gift?” Yes, a handshake.’”

On What He’d Do If His Son Stayed Out Past Curfew

“You know, the first time it happens, fine. Sit down, talk about it, discuss. Second time they go out ... I have my friend Robert, who is a locksmith, on hand, ready to go. When they’re late, change all the locks. They’re locked out of the house.”

On Halloween

“We have a standing tradition that they get to pick out my Halloween costume, no matter what it is. I was a poop emoji a couple years ago.”

On Strict v. Permissive Parenting

“I fall probably somewhere in the middle because I think there are definitely moments where you have to just go, ‘No, you’re not. You don’t get that.’ When they say, ‘Why?’ it’s just, ‘Because I said so.’ You can’t be your child’s friend.”