Will Trump Spoil Super Bowl LI?

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The playoff games for the NFL were hardly showcases of champions, but neither were the Republican primaries, so we can take comfort in the fact that football is not only place there has been disappointment in the entertainment business this year too.

ESPN Monday Night Football ratings were the lowest in several years. So were those for the Republican National Convention coverage, not to mention the low attendance at the inauguration of Donald Trump, although there is some argument from the administration about those numbers.

Things Ain’t Goin’ So Good

Despite a young presidency, Trump is signing things right and left. Some of them we know about, some we don’t. From his gutting of lunch programs to feel strong again after waving to a guy who was actually waving to someone else to the moment when the entire senior management team of the State Department resigned, things have been, shall we say rocky?

Not as in Rocky Balboa, but as in not the greatest. Our president is throwing tantrums about attendance numbers, press that he feels is picking on him, and overshadowing fake news scandals like #GoldenGate. At the same time, his press secretary calls on fake news reporters first in press conferences.

The Score

Despite the controversy of #DeflateGate and Tom Brady missing two games at the start of the season, the Patriots, whose approval rating rivals that of President Trump’s 37%, are headed to the Big Game again. While this wins them the hearts of many of the blue states in New England, the heartland and the south are rooting for the Falcons, most likely in the name of change.

“We don’t want the same old football,” said Clay Reynolds, a disillusioned Detroit Lions fan from their home city. “Who wants to see Brady to Edelman connections any more? We want change, and Matt Ryan brings that.”

President Trump’s Pick

No matter what side fans are on, there will be a bigger crowd at the Super Bowl than at the inauguration, at least according to credible news sources, but each year the President should side with a team, right?

And because President Trump is always loyal to business associates and friends, he’ll pick the Patriots over the Falcons. rump adviser Kellyanne Conway said Tuesday on Fox News that the President values the friendship of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and owner Robert Kraft.

"President Trump is just so grateful that friends like Tom Brady are loyal and can ignore the shrapnel, the verbal shrapnel," Conway said. Trump has said of Patriots’ owner Robert Kraft that he is "good friend ... a fabulous man and leader in this country."

The Game will be HUGE

“The game will be huge on February 5th. Everyone is saying so. It will be very amazing, the game of all games, just fabulous. There will be no other game like it, and the Patriots are favored and will be favored, because Patriots always win, and they are a part of the plan to Make America Great again,” said a spokesman reading a statement from President Trump.

At the moment, the Vegas sports bookies agree with him, as the Patriots are favored by 3. But you can’t be sure about these things. After all, Hillary was favored going into the election, and we all know how that turned out.

We don’t know what influence President Trump has on the outcome of the game, but rumor has it he has signed a secret Executive Order demanding that the Patriots win.

“The team who scores the most points doesn’t always have to be the winner,” said an unnamed Trump staffer. When asked if his comment was related at all to the outcome of the election, he declined to comment.