Finals time can be stressful. We can only imagine how much worse it can be if you have trouble studying because someone is having sex in your kitchen.
Jezebel has surfaced an email from an unspecified sorority at The College of William & Mary, which features a sister's heartfelt plea to residents of the house to stop having sex on a red couch and in other common areas:
we have beds for a reason and if you really have an aversion to sex in your bed (which is honestly really the only comfy option i enjoy of the three) then have sex in someone else's COMMON area. its called common for a reason. its PUBLIC.
The email specifically asks the sisters to refrain from using the house's red couch for activities of a more personal nature. She ends it with a demand for the kitchen offender to take the "condom wrapper out of the pot under the stove. thats not a trash can. its cookware."
Earlier in April, Gawker leaked a "deranged" sorority email out of the University of Maryland, which led to plenty of fallout, including the author's resignation, as well as a "Morgan Freeman" reading of it, a dramatic reading by Michael Shannon, and a Barbie parody.
Before that, there was the leaked UMD fraternity email at BroBible that explained how to flirt with Jewish girls. A woman from a Jewish sorority responded on a listserv with a "How To Impress Gentiles" email.
And from as far back as 2004, an email circulated from a sorority at the University of Missouri that encouraged members to lie about health problems so they could donate in a blood drive, in the course of which the author called her sisters "boner killers".
All of which leaves us wondering, what is happening on Greek listservs? If you have any answers, feel free to comment below or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.