Witches and Demons and Republicans....Oh My!

I know that there are many Republicans out there, who think that Sarah Palin is a complete "whack job" (to quote a source in the McCain campaign). I know this because I just had dinner with one of them the other night. My impression was that she voted for Obama, almost out of desperation, because she wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing Sarah Palin was a heartbeat away from the presidency.

I'm sure many of those people watched Governor Bobby Jindal's response to Obama's speech tonight hoping that there was, indeed, and up and coming young Republican that wasn't....well....embarrassing. His underwhelming performance was more than a little bit "me me me" and quite devoid on actual policy. It was a pretty obvious opening act to his 2012 campaign. And, he didn't mention veterans. And he mocked volcano preparedness (was that just to tick off the land of Palin?) And he tried to use Hurricane Katrina as a Republican talking point, and that story may in fact be a lie. And he didn't really exude sincerity either.

OK, let's face it. That speech was pretty damn bad. But these people are desperate for SOMEone. And he's still a relief from the whiny, hand-wringing, gun totin', winkin', cookie bakin', spotlight hoggin' Wasilla gal with the crazy witch hunting pastor. You remember that guy, right? Pastor Muthee from Africa (which is a continent by the way, not a country) who came to fame and fortune by driving a witch, menacingly named "Mama Jane" from a village, after killing the demon in the form of a python she kept as a pet. The one who flew multiple times to Wasilla and prayed the witches away from Sarah Palin, while she stood at the altar with arms extended and palms toward heaven. Then he asked Wasillans to pray that God would take over the banks and the schools and the businesses and the minds of the little children, and of course, the government. Still don't remember him? Here's a reminder.

2:57 - First mention of Sarah

5:00 - We need God to 'take over the education system.'

5:27 - We need God to 'take over the media' and Hollywood itself.

6:08 - We need the government run by born-again Christians.

6:58 - Praying for Sarah to become governor (Doesn't this impact their tax-exempt status? Anyone?)

7:12 - Sarah herself enters and is "prayed upon".

8:38 - Another witchcraft reference.

Doesn't it seem even weirder now than it did back in October?

So, yeah. Those Republicans I mention, are looking long and hard at Jindal. After last night's performance, they may not be dancing in the streets, but at least he's not the star of that video clip above.

Not so fast, my disenchanted conservative friends.

This came to my attention, and made me start to wonder what exactly is IN that red Kool-Aid? This has just got to make you wonder.

Let's wind the Bobby Jindal time machine back to 1994, when he wrote an article entitled...are you ready? Are you sitting down? "Beating a Demon: Physical Dimensions of Spiritual Warfare."

No, this was not some term paper for a creative writing class, or an abstract for Comparative World Religions or Cultural Anthropology. This was an actual true-to-life story; a personal narrative, if you will. Yup. Bobby Jindal - Demon Beater. Spiritual Warrior. Exorcist Extraordinaire. Who knew? Did he put this on his resume under "Skills and Talents"?

The original article will cost you money to see at The New Oxford Review. But for those of you not wanting to part with your hard earned $1.50, here are some of the highlights.

Some background first. Jindal's best friend Susan has not been doing well. She's been diagnosed with skin cancer, and her behavior has become strange and erratic. She is surrounded by "sulphurous smells," and has come to a prayer meeting for help.

Jindal writes:

The students, led by Susan's sister and Louise, a member of a charismatic church, engaged in loud and desperate prayers while holding Susan with one hand. Kneeling on the ground, my friends were chanting, "Satan, I command you to leave this woman." Others exhorted all "demons to leave in the name of Christ." It is no exaggeration to note the tears and sweat among those assembled. Susan lashed out at the assembled students with verbal assaults.

Whenever I concentrated long enough to begin prayer, I felt some type of physical force distracting me. It was as if something was pushing down on my chest, making it very hard for me to breathe. . . Though I could find no cause for my chest pains, I was very scared of what was happening to me and Susan. I began to think that the demon would only attack me if I tried to pray or fight back; thus, I resigned myself to leaving it alone in an attempt to find peace for myself.

It appeared as if we were observing a tremendous battle between the Susan we knew and loved and some strange evil force. But the momentum had shifted and we now sensed that victory was at hand.While Alice and Louise held Susan, her sister continued holding the Bible to her face. Almost taunting the evil spirit that had almost beaten us minutes before, the students dared Susan to read biblical passages. She choked on certain passages and could not finish the sentence "Jesus is Lord." Over and over, she repeated "Jesus is L..L..LL," often ending in profanities. In between her futile attempts, Susan pleaded with us to continue trying and often smiled between the grimaces that accompanied her readings of Scripture. Just as suddenly as she went into the trance, Susan suddenly reappeared and claimed "Jesus is Lord."

With an almost comical smile, Susan then looked up as if awakening from a deep sleep and asked, "Has something happened?" She did not remember any of the past few hours and was startled to find her friends breaking out in cheers and laughter, overwhelmed by sudden joy and relief.

I leave you with this thought to ponder. Why are these two the new great hopes of the Republican Party; the shining stars; the young energetic faces of the GOP's future? If this is the case, the best movie analogy may not be "The Exorcist". It just might be "Night of the Living Dead."

Dems, just sit tight and don't be corrupt. The world is yours.