I've had an "a-ha" moment that caused me to discover why I've had a disconnect throughout most of my life.
I don't believe in "for." I've lived my life with the vision and expectation of "with." I'll explain.
When I work with people, I never consider them working "for" me, or me working "for" them, but "with" me as part of a team. I now understand why I've been met, time and again, with disappointment or frustration.
I've gone through life pretty much with this expectation -- that no one does things (or should do things) "for" me, but "with" me. Even with my kids, the "with" has always remained prevalent. I believe that they should (or could) recognize things we needed to accomplish as a family unit.
I don't really think the team mentality is always prevalent in our society. With my "a-ha" moment, I started to think further and realize that, perhaps, it's hard to change the philosophy of people when we're in a society that emphasizes "us" against "them" instead of "with."
I believe the transition is hard, but not impossible.
I work "with" people. I look for opportunities for "us". A way we can ALL benefit.
I believe that should be the goal, in the end, for all of us -- whether it is in our jobs, our communities, or our relationships, families, to work WITH each other. This simple concept can truly end hostilities and unrealistic expectations so prevalent in many families, relationships, organizations and communities.
"With" is really not a difficult concept, but more of an awareness of how our actions affect others.
As part of a collaborative effort, things will move farther, faster, while creating a much more peaceful, loving atmosphere for us to share. So we can ALL enjoy life.
We can look further into this idea with the evaluation of the intention behind the action of another, as well. What are we trying to attract? What are we trying to create: Love or hatred? Camaraderie or separation?
We see examples of this in our everyday lives: In companies who create insecurity and fear in even their most loyal employees where one day their positions are "poof", just gone. In our youth who create separation and hard feelings through bullying. In our political arena where partisan politics divide our elected officials, and our society, and resolutions to issues are not reached. In a scenario where there is "dog eat dog" competition or blame.
"With" is such a simple concept.
What is the best option for us all if we work with each other? What can YOU do, TOGETHER, with others?
Think of the possibilities if you just could ask someone their opinion and find a peaceful and common ground?
It's time for us ALL to enjoy life. It's Time to Play.
Doreen Guma, MA, FACHE, CPC, CLC is a board certified healthcare executive, a certified professional life coach, the founder of the Time to Play Foundation, a 501c3 not for profit corporation inspiring everyone to enjoy life and author of If I Knew Then What I Know Now, Our Quest for Quality of Life. Time to Play and the Time to Play Foundation was absolutely created out of LOVE. Please see www.timetoplay.com for more information.