I cringe when I see the injustices still practiced against women: sexual abuse and harassment, discrimination and prejudice, overwhelming pressure to fit a perfect image, and the slew of actions aimed to keep us submissive and suppressed. Like you, I’m simply fed up with it. But by now I’ve also learned that behind every difficulty is a miracle waiting to break through. And I know that the sexual scandals rocking TV, film, and politics will serve both to uncloak blatant abuse of male power and catalyze much-needed change for women across the world.
This is not a self-love rant, although I’m a big advocate for embracing your beautiful self (one of my most well-received articles for the Huffington Post was “The Art of Self-Love”). The way I see it, learning to love yourself and growing into your inherent power are two separate arts. One can stem from the other, but you must master both. Loving yourself means you choose circumstances that promote your well-being; manifesting your power means you create your own circumstances. One deals with inner preservation while the other drives outer progress.
If you feel that your divine strength has dwindled for whatever reason, perform the actions below to reclaim your power right now:
Take back your power. Women nurture this world. But sometimes we care more for others than we do for ourselves, which can leave us hopeless and exhausted. Whether you’ve lost your strength to your friends, your partner, or even your family, it’s time to recover your power. Remember that it’s the responsibility of others to take care of themselves, not yours. There’s only so much you can do for the people you love before you have to take back your force and tend to your own needs. If you feel powerless in your job, consider your alternatives: address the issues to your boss, speak up to your coworkers, or seek another career altogether. Spend at least two hours tending to yourself each day. You can exercise, pamper yourself, or take up a class you’ve always wanted to try. Perform more activities on your own; you don’t need a buddy to empower you to work out or pick out what clothes fit you best. Simply put, care less about other people and situations beyond your control, and more about yourself.
See yourself in control. We prepare ourselves for the worst without even realizing it. In unfavorable situations, we entertain thoughts that increase fear and diminish our power. Learn to balance the Yin and Yang of your mind. For every negative thought, imagine two positive prospects. No matter what the scenario may be, close your mind and envision yourself regaining control. You are a highly capable woman who can influence any situation in your favor through your intelligence, intuition, and ingenuity. But it starts with your thoughts.
Protect your energy. Your energy should be your most precious commodity; no person, event, or obligation is more important than your harmony. Never allow the external world to dictate how you feel or what you should feel. What/who holds power over your energy ultimately holds power over you. Analyze how different people and situations affect your mood: do you feel exhausted after a day at work, or drained after spending several hours with a certain person? It’s normal to feel tired, but nothing/no one should deplete you to the point of desperation. Always retain some energy for yourself. When a task becomes overwhelming, stop and recharge. When you feel “off” about someone, take a step back. Protect your energy from outside influences and daily disruptions to keep your power intact.
Maintain your standards. Never tolerate a partner who can only give you a portion of what you deserve or a friend who’s egocentric behavior always puts you second. You should hold values that you’re simply not willing to compromise, like loyalty, fairness, acting in good faith, etc. Putting your foot down will place you in a position of power, while “putting up” will leave you powerless. When you make too many excuses for others, you forfeit the healthy standards to which you’re entitled. There are plenty of like-minded, kindhearted people in this world, just like you. Why accept anything less?
Become your own boss. Don’t rely on someone else to determine your schedule, work position, or how much your effort is worth per hour. If possible, work for yourself and generate your own income. I’m proud of the fact that more and more women are becoming entrepreneurs and business owners and taking financial matters into their own hands. And if you can’t become your own boss (which I understand not everyone can), don’t settle for a job that jeopardizes your well-being or undermines your potential, simply out of fear of not having enough money. Trust me, you can find work that encourages your natural talents and develops your inbred skills.
Honor your authenticity. Is it just me, or is every woman on social media starting to look the same? Perfect body, perfect hair, perfect eyebrows—give me a break! How can you become powerful if you’re not authentic? How can you stand out if you look, act, think, and talk like everyone else? They say that imitation is flattery, but it’s also character suicide. And your character is the core of your power. You must hone your individuality, not hide it. But here’s the catch: you can’t know who you are until you open every compartment within your being, throw out what belongs to someone else, and keep what’s distinctly and truly yours. Forgo the temporary trends and learn how to work with your unique features: highlight your honesty, showcase your freckles, and indulge your love of learning. Don’t shame any part of your divine being; allow the totality of your strength to shine.
Love your own kind. Perhaps the biggest problem for women is that we continue fighting against each other instead of for each other. Love the women in this world, even if some have shown you aggressiveness, competitiveness, or hatred. Realize that personal ordeals in their past may have led them to become this way, and show them the right way to be. It takes much less effort to be understanding than angry, and it bears much greater rewards. How powerful we would become if we united under kindness, compassion, and support for all women.
Reclaiming your power will reshape your life. Implement these seven steps to become the boldest, most unstoppable version of you.
From one powerful woman to another,
Alexandra Harra
To learn more about The Karma Queens’ Guide to Relationships, click here.
For more by Alexandra Harra, click here.