Women are paying for sex, just like men. We just don't talk about it. Instead we whisper.
According to a recent study published in the British Newspaper; The Daily Mirror,
"more British women than ever are paying for sexual services because they are too busy for conventional relationships. And some women want more for their money than just straight sex and are prepared to pay for the companionship of men, as well as their time in the bedroom. Researchers have spoken to male and female escorts in the UK who are paid for their sexual services.
The study, led by principal investigator Dr Sarah Kingston, of Lancaster University, and co-led by Dr Natalie Hammond at Manchester Metropolitan University, promises to be the most in-depth analysis of the subject ever undertaken in the UK. Its early findings reveal that women who pay for sex come from all backgrounds and ages, although there are a high number of women in their thirties and forties."
Part of this current change is that many women are finally in charge of their own money, expendable income and are on a mission to reclaim and explore their right to sexual pleasure. In my own personal and professional experience, women want more than most men when it comes to "Paying For It."
So why would a woman pay for it?
Women pay for sexual experiences with a professional to try something they don't want to do with their partners often out of fear that their partner will judge them.
Women pay for sex because things just aren't working erotically at home and they want to know if it's their body or something wrong with the chemistry with their partners.
Women pay for sex because they want to try something new and that something new simply isn't available with their partners or because they don't have a partner.
Women pay for hands on sexual therapies because they are trying to find their orgasm or their G-spot or their bodies are changing and they want professional help in figuring it all out.
Women pay for sex with professional sexological body workers to heal trauma or sexual abuse.
Women pay for sex to heal body image issues.
Paying someone means that this is totally about you and your needs. You don't need to "take care of someone else".
While some women may be more traditional, and simply want a handsome escort and "The Boyfriend Experience" as the UK study suggests; when women contact me for sex coaching they are usually looking for some kind of spiritual and sexual union in their own bodies.
It's really more than paying for spankings most of the time when women are paying for sex; what women are really wanting is sexual explorations, and it's happening all over the United States and around the world.
And we are talking about "respectable women" and "beautiful" women too.
Perhaps, I have a unique perspective on all of this as I have been one of those women and I talk about it. The problem has been trying to get anyone to listen to what's happening with real women around sexual explorations -- especially midlife women.
Before the fictional "50 Shades of Grey" made submission and spanking the subject of national conversation, I took the journey as midlife woman in a long-term monogamous marriage into the world of paying for sexual healing and I told my real life adventures into the subterranean world of sacred sexuality and bondage. In 2011, Rodale published my first book, a memoir called "Shameless: How I ditched The Diet, Got Naked; Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner". where I told the tale. It was supposed to be a New York Times bestseller. It wasn't. We couldn't get media attention for it. Not really. Sometimes real life is too scary.
CNN Presents almost released a feature about it. They filmed me and my family five days. They wanted to do a feature about what midlife women were really doing sexually in America: including paying for sexual healing. But it is still unreleased. Somebody at CNN decided America wasn't ready yet. Not ready? For what?
Women paying for sex and maybe even wanting spankings? After all, I wasn't a character in a book. I wasn't make believe. I was a highly respected professional activist. I even made an appearance on Oprah, and 60 minutes. But that's another story. This was more personal. It was about a woman (me) who was married for over two decades, a mother and successful by every measure that seems to count in this world, but who felt sexually unfulfilled and went on a journey to find her own sexual voice.
Nobody got killed, or divorced. The story had a mostly happy ending.
American was really not ready for that! After all, if I could do this -- that meant any wife and mother could do this! Your wife could do this -- and America wasn't ready yet. But that was four years ago and now we are past "Fifty Shades of Grey" and gay marriage is legal. So is it possible to embrace this idea that women have sexual agency? That women can seek the services of professionals to help them explore their bodies, heal sexual trauma, and even just for pleasure?
Apparently it's happening and now there are even studies proving it.
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