There’s a growing forum on the discussion about the chasm of genders---one that is all at once, steep, treacherous and understatedly risky. Aggression and violence directed against women (“or the weaker sex” as the misogynists would choose to call it) is not one to be called as unchartered territory. The debacle runs as far back as miles in the timeline of debates, igniting heated arguments. Nevertheless, it is a chapter that is far from its last pages.
In an age when “women empowerment” is growing to be a mainstream hype, it’s no longer foreign to hear or watch females delivering their own acceptance speeches or even finally being victors in their respective fields. Social media has inspired a lot of girls and women alike to share one key identity: feminist. But in a time when women are converted from ‘indifferent’ to ‘empowered’, ‘unknowing’ to ‘aware’, ‘muted’ to being brave, a missing link still remains. More girls are becoming activists for gender equality; more and more women are fighting for the flag of feminism; similarly, more men remain to sit in the sidelines.
It begins with an assumption, leading to an act, then it turns into a full-blown culture. Such is the case of violence in the context of today’s culture. It’s the diminished regard for women, the disdain for equality of the sexes that begins the vicious cycle. Brute strength or ammunition never began violence by themselves. Before bruises covered skin, before punches and fists landed on bodies, the violence against women began with society’s devaluing notion about women. It started with “Women are weak”; it began with “She’s no use” before it turned to verbal and nonverbal abuse.
It isn’t a war. And perhaps, this obscured truth could have solved it easier. It was never women versus the world. It was never even women versus men, to begin with. It has always been a singular team---men and women for, not against, each other. Not realizing this is why feminism and the cause against violence could fail. To assume women need only be ready to fight is an easy way to be wrong. We need more women who believe in the power of feminism, but we need men who respect gender equality, who protect women’s rights just as much.
We see common pictures of violence---women depicted in somber tones of agony, wound and blood. But violence does not remain in its static form, always ready to be captured in photographs. Violence takes shape, even in the form of things that are easy to miss. “You’re just a housewife” and “You’re only a woman,anyway” incites violence and inflicts wounds just as much brute strength.
We’ve seen countless pictures of the abused. We’ve heard what the victims had to say. But just maybe, pity isn’t always enough. Maybe feeling sorry won’t fix it if we’re part of the cycle that continues to look down on women.
Too often, we wait for glaring world-headline kind of news before we are pushed to act. But when we have technology and information in our hands, why are we as slow to respond when we are without? Who needs a picture of a woman battered into surrender when we already have an everyday dose of violence against women in the form of catcalling, discrimination and sexist glass ceilings? Who’s still waiting to see bruises while there are women all over the world denied of their rights because of being female?
Violence against women happens whether or not we see the wounds. Just the same, violence against women can be stopped, whether or not we could admit that it can be solved. And it’s just a matter of turning ‘us versus you’ into ‘all of us’ for one another’s team.