15 Words That Belong in Every Grandparent's Vocabulary


AFFLATUSn. A sudden rush of divine or poetic inspiration. Grandchildren are the cause of many a grandparents' afflatus.

BELGARD — n. A kind or loving look. Cookies are nice but it's belgards from Grandma that kiddos crave most.

COMICONOMENCLATURISTn. A specialist in funny names. There's no better comiconomenclaturist than a grandma on babysitting duty.

DANDLEv. To move a small child up and down on the knees or in the arms playfully. Dandling is a grandparent's favorite form of exercise.

FANFARONADE — n. Arrogant bragging or boasting, particularly when introducing something. One's Facebook stream will be continually flooded with fanfaronade when one's friends list includes grandmas.

GRAVIDadj. Pregnant. When a daughter becomes gravid, a grandma is born.

KINDERGRAPHn. Photograph of a child. Prepare for a deluge of kindergraphs when meeting a new grandmother.

NEPENTHEn. Something that brings forgetfulness of sorrow and suffering. When circumstances stink, grandchildren are often the only successful nepenthe for Grandma and Grandpa.

OPTIMITYn. The condition or fact of being best. Seeking optimity in parenting? You'll find it in grandparenting.

PANDICULATIONn. Stretching and yawning. An infant grandchild's pandiculation, with eyes and fists scrunched and rump jutted out, ranks near the top of a grandma's favorite sites to see.

SLUBBER — v. To smear or dirty something. Grandparents find it far easier to overlook a child's slubbering than Mom or Dad.

VAGITUSn. The first cry of a newborn. Grandparents fortunate enough to hear it will never ever forget the sound of a grandchild's vagitus.

VECORDIOUS — n. Crazy, senseless, lunatic. Those without grandchildren consider grandparents vecordious... until they become one themselves and undergo a similar transformation.

WAMBLE n. The rumble, gurgle, growl made by a distressed stomach. Beware the next diaper when an infant elicits a wamble.

ZELOTIPIA n. Morbid or fanatical zeal; jealousy. Though it may take effort, it's best to avoid zelotipia when grandchildren enjoy time with the other grandparents.

(Sources: The Gilded Tongue by Rod L. Evans, PH.D.; The Superior Person's Book of Words by Peter Bowler; The Superior Person's Second book of Weird & Wondrous Words by Peter Bowler.)

This post originally appeared on Grandma's Briefs.

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The World's Most Glamorous Grandmothers