What Your Work Lunch Really Says About You

You might not realize it, but your co-workers can tell a lot about you based on the lunch you eat. They see that air of superiority when you're eating your homemade organic kale chips. Or maybe you don't eat lunch until 5:00? They get that too: You're such a harder worker than everyone else.

Just so you're clear on how your co-workers perceive you, we've compiled the definitive list of office lunches and what they really say about you. Find your most common midday fare below, and then learn what your officemates are thinking when you unwrap the tin foil on that bi-weekly burrito.

After all, you are what you eat.

The "I Only Have $3 To My Name" Lunch


The meal: A single slice of pizza.
Alternatives: Instant oatmeal, hanging around outside a conference room to try to get free leftovers from a catered meeting.

The “I Have No Respect For Your Sense Of Smell" Lunch

egg tuna

The meal: Hard-boiled eggs and tuna salad.
Alternatives: Street meat, Italian-style deli sub.

The “I’m A Ridiculously Hard-Worker" Lunch

doritos lunch

The meal: Vending machine Doritos, M&M's and Coke. Maybe a few almonds thrown in for a well-balanced meal.
Alternatives: No lunch at all, sending a tweet saying you wished Starbucks delivered.

The “Look How Together My Life Is” Lunch

tupper ware lunch

The meal: Gourmet lunch made at home and packaged in glass containers.
Alternatives: Using the office kitchen to actually make something fresh.

The "I'm Definitely Not Like You" Lunch

turkey leg

The meal: Single roast turkey leg.
Alternatives: Lima beans, a can of anchovies.

The “Please Give Me A Raise” Lunch

ham sandwich lunch

The meal: Ham sandwich, probably for a number of days in a row.
Alternatives: No lunch at all, Chef Boyardee microwaveables.

The “Look How Basic I Am” Lunch

salad lunch

The meal: Chopped salad.
Alternatives: Kale salad, smoothie, non-fat frozen yogurt.

The "I'm On A Juice Cleanse, See?" Lunch

juice cleanse

The meal: Kale, pineapple, ginger, lime, cucumber juice.
Alternatives: Ginger, pumpkin, celery root, agave juice. Almond milk.

The "I Was So Drunk Last Night" Lunch

bagel sandwich

The meal: Bagel sandwich and a Gatorade.
Alternatives: Pedialyte, hard-boiled egg.

The “I Am Getting Drunk Tonight” Lunch


The meal: Chipotle burrito.
Alternatives: Loaf of bread, fried chicken and french fries.

The “I Am Getting Drunk Now” Lunch


The meal: Three martinis during an inexplicably long break, followed by nap.
Alternatives: Desk whiskey, company-provided beer.

The “One Lunch Now, One Lunch Later” Lunch

thai lunch

The meal: Pad thai.
Alternatives: A full delivery pizza, Chinese takeout.

The “I Just Went Gluten Free But I'm Not Entirely Sure What That Means Yet" Lunch

soup lunch

The meal: Gluten free split pea soup.
Alternatives: Salad, sandwich with bread thrown away.

The “I Make More Money Than You” Lunch


The meal: Sushi platter.
Alternatives: Kobe beef cheeseburger with foie gras, Beluga caviar and champagne.

The “Fuck It” Lunch


The meal: McDonald's Quarter Pounder.
Alternatives: Taco Bell, bottle of Jack Daniel's.

The “I Just Got Fired” Lunch.

taco bell

The meal: Taco Bell.
Alternatives: McDonald's, vodka.

The “I Am A Huge Asshole" Lunch

sandwich note

The meal: Stolen sandwich from the work fridge.
Alternatives: See above for the "The 'I Have No Respect For Your Sense Of Smell' Lunch." Pretty much anything while your desk neighbor is dieting.

The “Oh Crap, It’s Already 6:00” Lunch

missed lunch

The meal: Nothing. You missed lunch.
Alternatives: Expensing meal to company, falling asleep, taking a chill pill.