A Non-Exhaustive List Of The Worst Men Of 2018

This year was not a great look for men!
Let us look back upon 365 days full of trash bag dudes.
Let us look back upon 365 days full of trash bag dudes.

Men had another pretty poor showing in 2018, continuing their centuries-long slump. A man disastrously led the most powerful nation in the world. A man ― several men, in fact ― had the gall to mount comebacks after having been accused of sexual assault. Men inflicted their emotional inadequacies on everyday women, leaned on subway poles, sent terrible text messages, spearheaded fascist counter-revolutions in fragile democracies and just generally found diverse ways of not coming correct.

In the spirit of calling out these failures, both big and petty, we’ve rounded up a list of (a handful of) the worst men of 2018. This list is by no means exhaustive, and I’m sure we’ve forgotten hundreds of terrible males who made the year so much worse. Please feel free to make your own lists and then ritually burn them.

We hope this list might encourage men to show up in 2019 in better form. Dudes: We believe in … some of you. But for now, here are some bros who really went wrong this past year.

Donald Trump. Obviously. He openly declared himself to be a nationalist. He called Haiti and some African nations ”shithole countries.” He personally attacked reporters. He told thousands of lies. Under his leadership, there were three government shutdowns, countless family separations at the border, the Violence Against Women Act expired and at least two children died in U.S. Customs and Border Protection custody.  

Brett Kavanaugh. An entitled, wealthy, white alleged sexual assaulter screamed his way onto the Supreme Court of the United States for a lifetime appointment, while even conforming to near “perfect” victimhood couldn’t prevent Christine Blasey Ford from being systematically harassed for months.

While we’re at it: Mark Judge, best known for beach week, for his horribly misogynistic yearbook quotes, and for allegedly witnessing his friend attempt to rape a woman.

Logan Paul, who made a viral YouTube video in a Japanese forest known as a common site for suicides. The video featured the body of a man who had committed suicide and Paul joking about said body. We’ll let him stand in for all the ogres of YouTube — the Nazi gamers, the conspiracy humpers, the psycho-philosophy hucksters who’ve developed a whole system of knowledge around the behavior of crustaceans.

The guy who invited me over to his apartment, and then proceeded to force me to watch a series of obscure death metal videos that lasted upwards of 20 minutes each. I’ll never get those three hours back.

The men who insist on leaning their bodies onto the entirety of the subway pole, often on top of people’s hands, during the morning commute. Show some respect for the throngs of other individuals just trying to get to work, bros. We’ve already conquered manspreading, but in 2019 I’d like to see us go after manleaning.

Every man who contemplated a post-Me Too “comeback” without taking responsibility for or even truly reckoning with the allegations of sexual assault, harassment or misconduct leveled against them. I’m looking at you, Louis C.K. And you, Matt Lauer. And you, Charlie Rose. And you, Mario Batali. And you, Aziz Ansari.

All the men who assisted in those comebacks in any way.

The middle-aged man who cut me in line at Penn Station when I was just trying to get a goddamn bagel before my train left.

Larry Nassar. The guy sexually assaulted hundreds of minors over the course of decades under the guise of giving them medical care ― and did so with the tacit assistance of major institutions. Of course he’s on this fucking list.

Gavin McInnes, who distanced himself from the white nationalist group of misogynistic trolls he created only after it was reported that the FBI classifies the Proud Boys as an “extremist group.” A true profile in courage.

More profiles in courage? Jeff Flake and Ben Sasse

The dude who sent me this charming opener on a dating app. Thank u, next.

DJ Khaled, specifically for his declaration that he does not perform oral sex on women, though he expects them to do so on him, because, “It’s different rules for men. You gotta understand, we the king.” In fact, any straight men who refuse to go down on their female partners, you’re on this list, too.

Jair Bolsonaro. Another day, another modern authoritarian elected.

Any man who discussed Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s clothing choices in an effort to discredit her politics.

The “Bachelorette” winner who liked a bunch of bigoted Instagram posts, thus preventing me from enjoying my favorite not-so-guilty pleasure franchise. Thanks for nothing, Garrett.

Joel Kaplan. Facebook’s “lonely conservative” and VP of Global Policy not only reportedly killed a feature meant to expose users to differing political viewpoints and encourage productive dialogue because he feared it would be biased against conservatives, but he also attended the Kavanaugh hearings in support of his old pal Brett. Also… Facebook is probably definitely evil?

All of the men who have personally disappointed me by refusing to go into therapy this year. You know who you are.