Never ending isn't it?
I'm talking about your 'to-do' list when you're a parent.
Even if you get up to date with the housework, there's always another meal to prepare. And there's always someone coming along behind you undoing all your good work.
It's frustrating. Because you're never on top of things for more than about five minutes.
So it's wearing. Demoralising. Grinding.
It's hard to feel good about yourself and your day when the demands are endless and the rewards are so few.
And what do you tell yourself?
I mean, at the end of the day what's going through your mind? Let me guess. It's something like, "I still have done this, and I didn't do that, and I snapped at the kids when I was tired."
Am I right? So here's my question to you.
If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend?
Because the way you treat yourself sets the foundation for others.
Stop thinking about all you haven't done. Stop discrediting yourself for everything you aren't.
And start giving yourself credit for everything you ARE.
You have to learn to be your own best friend. Because sometimes we fall too easily into the trap of being our own nemesis.
And because you're a parent, this is even more important. Because you're not just laying the foundation for the way others will treat you.
You're also laying the foundation for the sort of people your kids will become.
Your kids need to see you taking care of yourself, showing a little self-love and self-preservation.
Because what you do now is what they'll do when they're a parent.
So when your kids see you mentally berating yourself, and putting everyone else first, that's exactly what they'll do.
You have to change this pattern. For your sake. And for their sake. And the first step is to change how you think.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking something like,"I haven't done ...." or, "this isn't good enough."
Stop. And think,"No, I've done enough.
You don't have to go back and list all the things you've done during the day. You don't have to search out all your good qualities.
Just start telling yourself you've done enough. And what you've done is good enough.
You are the most important person in the family. You are a carer. You're looking after other people, and you have to make sure you look after yourself.
Because without you, your family will crumble.
So start practicing a little self-love.
Talk kindly to yourself. Be the best friend you deserve.
Respect and value who you are so your kids grow into parents who respect and value themselves.
Be the person you want your children to become.
Cate is on a mission to help parents stop yelling and create families that listen to each other. She does this while imperfectly parenting two boisterous girls of her own, and learning from her mistakes. Download her free Cheat Sheet to Get Your Kids from "No" to "Yes" in Three Simple Steps and reduce your yelling today.