Laura Yeager has been writing professionally for over 35 years. She began as a fiction writer, studying writing at Oberlin College, Iowa State University and The Writers' Workshop at The University of Iowa. Her literary fiction appeared in The Paris Review, The Missouri Review, Kaleidoscope, and The North American Review. Her spiritual writing has been featured in several venues including Aleteia USA, Busted Halo, The Liguorian Magazine, Canticle Magazine and Guideposts Magazine.
Below is an interview excerpt on her journey through bipolar I disorder and cancer.
What inspired you to become a writer?
My father was an ad copywriter in Akron; my mother wrote a religious children's book that was published. When she was teaching, she also wrote children's plays. She directed them and made the costumes. It was kind of a family affair. One of the things my mom told me when I was very young was that I couldn't hate anybody. When you can't hate anybody, you really have to struggle to see their worth and humanity. I think that's really important for a writer.
When did you receive your bipolar I diagnosis?
I was 28. I had three degrees in writing and was teaching at a small university in Pennsylvania. My psychiatrist told me that that was quite late to be diagnosed, but it was good because then it wasn't as severe. I felt lucky because I had all my schooling done, was working full-time, and had a sense of who I was. Also, my community knew me as a well-adjusted person, so that helped.
Did you exhibit bipolar I symptoms earlier in life, or did it become acute at some point?
It really came to a head in 1991 and kind of blew up out of nowhere. I was in New York City with friends at the time and I wasn't sleeping. Ultimately, I didn't sleep for eight days and it was complete mania. By the end of the eight days, my mom felt she really didn't have any other choice except to take me to a psychiatric hospital.
How did this period in your life affect your writing?
I was hospitalized for two weeks. When you go through a complete mental health crisis, you basically want to go home, put your head under a blanket, and sleep for two years. But my psychiatrist was actually insistent that I go back to work. I wrote my syllabus for the semester in the psychiatric ward lounge and I immediately went back to teaching.
As soon as I got back home, I started writing about bipolar illness. The first story I wrote was called "Having Anne." They used to say you shouldn't get pregnant while on lithium, which is one of the major medicines for bipolar. The protagonist goes off her lithium and unravels while pregnant. It got published at the Missouri Review in 1998 and was shortlisted for an O. Henry Prize in 2000. So getting bipolar was very tragic, but it was just another thing I had to deal with that ultimately gave me something unique to write about.
The first time I got diagnosed with cancer, my psychologist also told me, "Don't quit your job. It'll keep your mind off of cancer." One of the reasons I do it is to make a living, but I love teaching. My writing and teaching are completely intertwined.
When was the first time you got diagnosed with cancer?
In 2011. It really hit me hard because I had had this mental illness issue, and now I had this big physical problem.
It came back in May of this year. In 2011, I had run-of-the-mill stage two breast cancer. I had chemotherapy, radiation, and a double mastectomy. Everything was fine for about five years, and then I noticed this strawberry-colored splotch on my right breast. It turned out that the radiation I had five years ago actually gave me the cancer that I have. It's called angiosarcoma and I had to have radical surgery. They cut most of what was left of the breast tissue away. They took the implant out that they put in. That was in June, so I've just been recovering from that surgery.
How do you reconcile the struggles you've had with your faith?
I know that's a very difficult idea for some of us. Why did God let all these bad things happen? I wrote this piece called "How Having Cancer Brought Me Closer to God" for Aleteia. In the first draft, I wrote that God wanted me to go through this horrible experience for some reason. My editor at Aleteia changed the wording to, God permitted this into my life.
It's not that I'm happy I struggled with bipolar or cancer for so many years, but I am so much of a better person and so much more empathetic than I ever could have been. I relate to anyone who's been marginalized in any way because I know what it's like to be completely bankrupt. Having that understanding is a gift.
What advice do you have for younger or aspiring writers?
I would say look for a mentor. Find someone you trust, and it doesn't even have to be a writer. It's also helpful if you can find an editor. I have two really wonderful editors, Noah Seaman and my mother, Pat Yeager, and I run everything by them before I send things out. The other thing I would say is you have to go through what life hands you.
Travel as much as you can. If you can go to a writing school, it can be beneficial for some people. Watch and see how things are resolved. When I first started writing, I didn't know how to write conclusions. I was working with Jane Smiley at the time, who said to me, "You're only 23, so you haven't lived enough to see how things come around and resolve. As you see how things are (not neatly) resolved, it will teach you how to write conclusions."
To read the full interview, visit Self-Care With Writers.