Mix rapping birds, a burping bear and a model who gets squirted with ketchup and you get, um, we don't know.
We have no friggin' idea.
But Old Spice assures us there's a reason for the sensory-overloaded "Horrifying Mutant Nightmare Abomination (Remix)" that it posted June 1.
"Sometimes when two commercials love each other very much, they get together and spawn a radioactive garbage fire that spews flaming jellied gasoline everywhere and kills all the grass in your yard," the brand says in its YouTube description.
"Long story short, you have about 30 minutes to watch this video before we have to bury it deep in the Earth's core for humanity's well-being."
For the love of God, Old Spice, start digging.