If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me when I was going to settle down and have kids, I’d be sipping mojitos on an island somewhere in the world right now -- kid-free.
I’ve known since I was 18 that I would never be a mother. That alone always earns me comments along the lines of “you’ll change your mind when you meet the one“ or “just give it time, you’ll get broody.”
But nearly 10 years later, my decision remains the same. In fact, the only thing that’s changed besides my career and my address is the fact that I’ve committed my life to travel instead of having a family. It’s got nothing to do with my ability to have children, I simply don’t want them.
And that drives people mental.
There is something about the phrase “I don’t want kids” that makes everyone think they are entitled to tell me why I am making a dire mistake, how my life won't be fulfilling or how I’m being selfish. I can now roll my eyes and get on with planning my trip itinerary, but it used to bother me. I don’t know why, either.
Some people are so closed minded; they can’t understand why I’d want to go anywhere. When people find out I moved from Canada to England, they politely comment on my accent and then inquire as to why I made such a huge decision.
Then they find out I travel the world solo and their eyes nearly bulge out of their head. “Why on earth do you want to travel alone? Don’t you want a husband and kids?” Sigh. If I had a dollar for every time someone has asked me that, I’d own the bloody aforementioned island.
My all-time favorite is when someone tries to make me feel guilty, because they know someone who knows someone who can’t have kids, and they want them desperately, and how dare I choose not to have kids when I am so capable. And then they curse me for not wanting to experience “all the joys of motherhood."
Please get out of my face and stop talking to me.
I am very close with someone who cannot have children and she suffers daily with this fact. But this does not impact me. This does not impact my decision to travel. This does not change the fact that the idea of motherhood makes me want to gag.
My joy comes in the form of eating authentic pad thai in Bangkok. It comes from watching the colours of the northern lights phenomenon. It comes from photographing the beauty of countless countries, experiencing new culture, getting out of my comfort zone and witnessing the already existing life in all it’s amazing glory as it goes on around me.
My joy and happiness comes from travel, not from screaming babies.
Oh, and by the way, I’ve recently met someone who may be “the one” and guess what? I still don’t want kids. The money I’m not spending on raising a baby will be taking me on a trip to Antarctica, another step in my quest to visit all seven continents -- and that makes my life very fulfilling.
Just because it’s not the life someone else wants, doesn’t make it any less so.
So please get over it.
(P.S. To all the ladies currently going through IVF, surrogacy, adoption, etc, please know this is not a dig at you. I salute you and wish you all success in your quest to acquire those screaming babies)
Carly Moore blogs at girloutofbounds.com. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest! She's also on Snapchat @girloutofbounds