You Better Sit Down Kids: An Only Mildly Exploitative Playlist for <i>Jon & Kate Plus 8</i>

When all those overexposed boys and girls turn eighteen, I pledge to burn the following songs and have them airdropped into whatever compound the family is then holed up in.
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So I watched my very first episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 last night. Frankly I haven't been so completely confused and pissed off by a parental break up since my folks split back when I was in middle school. To their credit, however, Jon & Kate's highly promoted separation got much better ratings in the key demos than my folks. Way to pimp the whole family for fun and profit, you two!

Frankly, I didn't like Jon or Kate enough to bother making either of them a playlist here. On the other hand, all of those kids seemed awful cute -- which their otherwise feuding parents apparently agree should be their full time job from birth.

Listen, I'm a parent myself, and I have no desire to get into the Gosselin family business and exploit those kids further. But when all those overexposed boys and girls turn eighteen, I pledge to burn the following songs and have them airdropped into whatever compound the family is then holed up in filming the pilot episode of "The Plus 8 Go On Their First Dates" for The Non-History Channel.

"You Better Sit Down Kids" -- Cher
"Parents Just Don't Understand -- DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
"Lost Cause"-- Beck
"D-I-V-O-R-C-E" -- Tammy Wynette
"Use Me" -- Bill Withers
"He Stopped Loving Her Today" -- George Jones
"Tunnel of Love -- Bruce Springsteen
"Split Decision" -- Eric Clapton & Steve Winwood
"Where Do The Children Play" -- Cat Stevens
"The Price of Love" -- The Everly Brothers
"Busy Being Fabulous" -- The Eagles
"Do It For The Kids" -- Velvet Revolver
"Bless The Beasts And Children" -- The Carpenters
"Insignificant" -- Counting Crows
"I Saw It On TV" - John Fogerty
"The Kids Are Alright" -- The Who

Any other ideas, kids?

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