'You Might Be A Zombie,' And 7 Other Pieces Of Bad News (PHOTOS)

You've been the victim of a conspiracy to make the world seem more boring than it actually is. The historians and scientists that wrote your text books removed all the graphic violence, kinky sex and terrifying monsters and ever since I launched back in 2006, our editorial team and writers have been working to put it back. Our new book, "You Might Be a Zombie, And Other Bad News" is the culmination of that mission. The bad news is that the real world is way more terrifying than the version of reality you learned about in school. The good news is that the truth is never, ever boring.