Your life isn't about reaching the final goal. It's not about crossing the finish line. It's about the beautiful roads you'll traverse on the way there.
Life is a lot like marriage this way. It's not about the ceremony (which many people feel is the destination). It's about living and loving with another person every day for the rest of your life. It's time to love yourself and your life NOW and to stop waiting on reaching some imagined "destination".
"Life is a journey, not a destination."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We've all heard this quote a hundred times. And it makes me giggle because I still think about that Aerosmith song when I hear it (and I'd probably sing you a line if you were sitting here with me! lol).
But honestly, life is what happens on the road to reaching that ultimate goal.
Photo by Author in Bisserup, Denmark
Life is made up of the memories we cultivate on the way there.
Will you be happy when you reach whatever goal you think you need to get to in order to finally be happy? Happiness doesn't just "click in" like that. It's something that develops through the trials and tribulations of the every day - it's a choice to be happy even when the shit hits the fan and things are uncomfortable. You can be happy even when getting a colonoscopy (seriously!).
"Life is what happens when you're busy making others plans"
- John Lennon
John Lennon was right. Your life is happening RIGHT NOW.
Time waits for no one. Every day and every hour that you wait to be happy, wait to enjoy things in your life, wait to use the "special linens" or "special dishes" is a day that you could have been ultimately and fully enjoying your life.
Each day is an opportunity to live your fullest life or an opportunity to cheat yourself out of the juiciness that life has to offer because you think you're supposed to hold off on being happy, or having any fun, until you reach some imaginary goal.
Guess what?
Once you reach that goal, there's going to be another one, and another one, and another one you think you'll have to reach before you can allow yourself to be happy.
First you think you have to graduate and get the college degree, then you think you have to get married to be happy, then you think "well, as soon as we have a house and I have a couple of kids I'll take time to enjoy life".
But your life is passing you by each day you post-pone really throwing yourself into things full-bore and enjoying the HELL out of your life right at this minute.
Think for a moment about what you feel when you hear me say "you're dying. Right at this moment. You're dying and moving closer and closer to death".
How does it make you feel? Afraid that there's still a lot to be done? Sad that you've wasted time worrying about little things that don't really matter? Does it put you into a panic?
Well, I hate to break it to you, but you ARE getting closer to death. Each day brings us one day closer. Each second. There's no denying that. There's no denying that time.
"Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'....Into the future"
- The Steve Miller Band
But don't let that scare you!
That just means that you need to ride the HELL out of this wild adventure we call life in the here and now.
Stop waiting for something to happen to make things fall into line and start working on your unleashing the true joys in life now. Right here in this moment. Tickle your spouse. Dance in the kitchen. Talk in muppet voices. Laugh at your farts for god-sakes. They're funny!!
Stop refusing to see that you have control over how fun, enjoyable, and outright fantastical your life can be. You are NOT a victim of circumstance.
Because YOU'RE NOT A VICTIM. YOU have the power. YOU have the power to change your life. YOU have the ability to go out there and live your life FULLY. Right in this moment. Right now.
Seriously, what are you waiting for? Get up right now and do something that you've been putting off and postponing because you thought you had to wait until you had something in line or something figured out before you did it. Your ducks will never be all in a row. They're ducks. They don't play like that. And neither does life.
Things will always be a little off kilter. And that's okay!! Because you can handle it and you can move forward on your journey.
Start With Gratitude
One great way to start living in the moment rather than constantly living for the future is to start being grateful. Start by seeing the wonder and glory of each day to help your mind form new neural pathways that are open to the positivity and wonder of the moment. A gratitude practice is a great first step to get you to stop living for the future and start appreciating the now!!
"Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Think about it this way, you're like a bud opening into a beautiful flower. But a flower doesn't open all at once. It's not like it's a bud one moment and then BOOM the next second it's a beautiful blossom.
No!
It takes time. One pedal at a time flourishes outward to express it's beauty until the entire flower is open and glorious. But we all love to look at roses when they're still not fully bloomed. They're still gorgeous in process!
And so are you.
You don't have to wait to be fully bloomed, for your journey to be fully realized, for you to appreciate yourself, your life, and enjoy the hell out of every moment.
Start today. I dare you.