As I held my mom's hand on the morning of May 4, 2013, I was pretty sure it would be the last time I would feel her warm flesh against mine. Hospice had just informed me that her time was near---within hours. Those words echoed deep within my soul and I was not quite sure how I'd ever get through what was about to unfold. How was I going to continue to support my most beloved friend, selfless caregiver and love of my life in her final hours? This was a task I never imagined being mine even though I knew we were heading in this direction as she battled an aggressive form of stage 3 ovarian cancer with every ounce of her being for 5 years, and it kept coming back. With each lab that showed elevated levels of her CA-125, her heart would sink and the weight of knowing she might leave us soon was too much to bear. Little did I realize that being her cheerleader---the person most determined to beat the odds and eradicate this dreaded disease from her body---was starting to really take its toll on me as well. "Mom, I said, there is still a chance this last trial will kick in and be the magic potion to breathe life back into your body. Hold on, I just know it is possible." And so we clung to that possibility and prayed with all our might for a miracle. It was not her time. Surely, it couldn't be. At 63, and with 5 beautiful granddaughters who she adored and waited for her entire life, it just was not time for her to leave us.
It seemed the Divine had other plans for my mom. Perhaps it was her sacred contract, and she had a greater gift to offer in her afterlife. Maybe she was ready. These thoughts appeared in my mind but were not really comforting as I watched her take her last breath and I realized that I would never again share another conversation with her over coffee. Our weekend shopping trips were soon to be a distant memory. My daughters might not grow up remembering the woman who was the bedrock of our family. And then I saw her face. At the moment of her last breath, I watched her face transform into the most beautiful representation of peace I've ever seen. Every line was instantly softened and a radiance emerged to cast an aura which seemed to settle into my soul as well. In that moment, I do not know how or why, but I knew that everything from that day forward was going to be okay. My mom had found her wings and all the suffering she had endured was over. She was at peace and happy. I felt it deep within my soul and never questioned it.
And grace intervened that day. I began a transformational journey of my own choosing. My mom's sickness began to unravel my superficial self and over time I welcomed the shedding of all my masks. I watched my mom leave this earthly plane with only one thing---her spirit. She did not need anything else to free her soul from the grips of fear and worry. I knew that it was now my birthright to find that inner peace that she found and if I did, I would never long for anything else. Thankfully, I did. And you can too. This is the gift waiting for all of us who are ready to commit to transform from the inside out. As you peel away the layers of your armor, you will find treasures you never dreamed existed. Your unveiling awaits.
Who are you? Are you ready to reveal your most authentic self? Are you willing to commit to the journey of self-realization and discover the inner peace and bliss that you so rightly deserve? What prevents you from stepping on your path today? This is your life---and you can write the next chapter of your story. Pick up the pen and begin writing.