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Your Wedding Was Awesome

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Oh my God, Lisa, your wedding was awesome! Thank you so much for inviting me. I'm gonna hit the highway before traffic--

What's that? Oh no, no. Not at all tedious like Cara's wedding. I found the thirty-minute slideshow both engaging and topical. I'll see you arou--

Bored? You mean, because I spent twelve hours and two grand to get here on a holiday weekend, only to be seated for dinner with the ring-bearer, your closeted cousin, and the secretary from your dad's old work? God, no! This is your day, princess. Remember Molly's wedding when we all got to bring our boyfriends? And we kept laughing and dancing and enjoying ourselves? Between me and you, I always thought that was kind of tacky.

Yes, I did cash in the drink ticket affixed to the back of my program. Thank you.

Nonsense. Every bride is beautiful on her wedding day. Until midnight, that harelip is a "love snarl." But I really have to get go--

Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. I was just kidding; you know how I am. Don't cry into the taco cart. Which, by the way, is very 1990s bat mitzvah -love it. Anyway, you are an amazing friend and this was an amazing event. I love you and I'm glad that I could be here.

Way cooler than your wedding last year.