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You're Spending The Holidays Alone Again: 3 Things To Know

People on dates, sipping hot chocolate. Ice skating rinks around with couples holding hands. It's just endless messaging that tells you you're alone this time of year.
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I got a great e-mail from a friend, Nancy, which I'll get to in a second.

But it's that time of year again: 'tis the season to be jolly,

The 5,4,3,2,1 Happy New Year countdown.

Christmas trees everywhere, sidewalk Santas hustling change for the homeless.

Mistletoe reminding you of the magic of being kissed.

Twinkling lights, Zales diamond commercials, and the feeling of being a child all over again if you allow the magic of Christmas to come back in.

Nothing is more magical to me than seeing the eyes of my daughter as she is looking at lights decorated in her room. Seeing the magic of the holidays again through her eyes is a beautiful thing.

We have this app, Santa Claus.

Last year she was thrilled that Santa called her every ten minutes. This year she said to me:

"That's a fake Santa. That's not the real one. He sounds different."

Oh, god, when they get older they get smarter.

And again, look at all of us. We're older, we're smarter, we're wiser, and yet we have that pang in our heart that we're spending the holidays alone. How can you not, with subliminal messaging going on all around you that reminds you that you're all by yourself?

Commercials that show lovers kissing.

People holding hands.

People on dates, sipping hot chocolate. Ice skating rinks around with couples holding hands. It's just endless messaging that tells you you're alone this time of year.

But let me give you three reasons why you need to embrace that.

Nancy wrote me an e-mail and I'm going to share it with you, and her email is reason number one.

She starts, "Hi David,

No one has spoken one word about the holidays, so I'll be spending it alone again. No one has spoken about future plans, so my plan is to keep growing as a person, a soul. That's what I do. If someone doesn't want me in their world, then I don't want them in mine, because the energy will be off, and that's a waste, because I have a lot to give, and a lot to share."

That's the first part of Nancy's e-mail and that is number one. No one has spoken a word to you about the holidays, no one has told you how much they love you during the holidays, and that's perfectly okay, because you don't want a no one in your life. You're wanting someone in your life. You want the one in your life.

So no one has given her the hope of future plans, so she's going to keep growing as a person. Not allowing the holidays to get to her. Not allowing the holidays to manipulate her mind, her brain, and her heart into feeling lonely this year.

Which leads us to reason number two, the second part of her great e-mail:

"People say if a man loves you, he will love you as you are. Not if you lose 20 pounds and start running successful Internet company. Drive a nicer car. Have more money to spend.

I'm pretty amazing as I am. But I know that can always grow better. But that to me is a life long journey, not one made over a weekend. Just as someone will ask me out. My priority, my truth is to myself first."

Which really is a beautiful thing. You see, during the holidays, if no one is loving you as you are, then love yourself for who you are. Take this time to just be amazing. Take this time to be loved. Take this time to grow. Don't worry about not being kissed under the mistletoe.

Which leads us to number three.

Spend time with people in need this time of year.

Spend time with people that you need to be with (meaning other people were alone). Throw a holiday party for people who are alone, so you can sit around and set goals. Goals where you can literally be what? Together. Goals that you can set for next year. Goals that you can set for now. You can be each other support and not the support group because you're all alone for Christmas.

The support group because your all going to be amazing during this time of year. The time of year to literally make yourself feel amazing.

Buy yourself a present, put it under your own tree. Unwrap it on Christmas morning. Take good care of yourself. Nurse your soul. Nurse who you are. Give to people in need. And use the holiday time not for missing the fact that there is no one to be with, but share it with others, because that's what this season is all about.

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