Best Parenting Tweets

"It’s not a family hike unless a child refuses to walk."
"Being a parent means saying things like, 'Thank you for sharing my water with me.'"
"I pointed out a fire truck to my coworker on our drive, and I think I need to spend less time with my children."
"My 4yo keeps calling our new puppy 'the puplett' no one correct her."
"My toddler threw a clipboard at me.This is no way for a boss to treat an unpaid intern."
"Having kids has turned my house into a junk drawer."
"Can someone explain why a mom's first instinct is to catch vomit how does this help us evolve as a species."
"Who you are at your kid’s sporting events is the real you."
"Looks like it’s time to tell my son that I get a weekly report of what he googles."
"My kid just saw me take some fries from my husband's plate. Time to find out if he's ride or die."