It could be too late by the time you need to have it.
The mother must first experience the mourning stage. I know I say it often, but remind yourself to be grateful. It promotes
Then make your request--as an adult! "Mom, I'm very glad you take an interest in your grandkids and want you to be a big
That got me thinking. What are the basic life skills should we be teaching our kids before they leave the nest? What should they know? Here are a few.
As an only child, I was always very close with my parents. My mother relied on me solely when she and my father fought. Girl time. Growing up, I always said I'd move next door and live there with her forever and always be her best friend. Now, I live about 10 miles away (if that), but I work full time, pay my own bills, and live with my boyfriend.
Boxes are packed and trucks are loaded. My youngest son is smiling from ear to ear, excitement and eagerness plastered across his mischievous grin as my heart is pulled in two. I've watched all morning as he, his father, brother and friend have made numerous trips up and down the stairs hauling box after box, pieces of furniture and clothes to load.
I realized that these past 24 years raced by at record speed, and well, that can only mean that the next 20+ years will do the same. Right? I've heard that time moves much faster as you age. So, if you're doing the math along with me: when my son has his 44th birthday, I will be nine months away from (oh God, I can't think it!) 74... which is just shy of 75!
What is wrong with me? Most people are changing bedrooms into man caves or celebrating the fact that they were able to raise a human from a baby into adulthood without harming them or losing them for an extended period of time. All I think about is the empty chair at dinner and the gaps in my duckling lineup.
If I could go back and enjoy another day when my little boy held my hand and squeezed it, or simply threw his arms around my neck because he liked to burry his face in my hair. I'd sit a little longer, reading a favorite book; I'd play in the yard a little longer. I'd savor it.
I, as perhaps you, have always hoped that each of my three children will, as adults, find positive, supportive partners with whom to share their lives. But holy heck, I still fell off my chair when my eldest son, at the tender age of 22, called me to announce his engagement.
In counseling, many adult clients come in struggling to connect to their parents. They feel that their parents do not respect them, as I discuss here, and don't treat them as valuable, worthwhile people, or continually infringe upon their personal boundaries.